


Into the New Millennium with the Wee English Fella

by Sitcom_Fan



Series: The Tale of the Wee English Fella [2]
Category: Derry Girls (TV)
Genre: Canonical Character Death, F/M, Father-Son Relationship, Friendship, Growing Up, Multi, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-26
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:33:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 39
Words: 37,980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26122789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sitcom_Fan/pseuds/Sitcom_Fan
Summary: James Maguire's life has never been the same since he moved to Derry. Despite the huge culture shock when he arrives in the troubled city, he manages to adapt and grow significantly as a person. In fact, his years in Derry prove to be nothing short of life-changing. But what has the future got in store?
Relationships: James Maguire & Original Character(s), James Maguire/Erin Quinn, Michelle Mallon/Original Male Character(s)
Series: The Tale of the Wee English Fella [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1892734
Comments: 163
Kudos: 25





	1. Welcome Home

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Thenewwriter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thenewwriter/gifts), [pearlydewdrop](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pearlydewdrop/gifts).



> This is a continuation of my fic "An Entanglement of Identities". It's all one story but I've split it into multiple parts because it would get too long otherwise!
> 
> I love reading comments so let me know what you think!

After driving back to Derry along the Causeway Coast and over the Foyle Bridge, Gerry parked up outside the Quinn household. “Do you want to come in and say a quick hello?” Gerry asked James.

“Sure, that would be lovely,” James replied.

Gerry led James, Erin and Anna inside and asked the two teenagers to wait in the hall while he continued to the kitchen, which left them both confused. A few seconds later, Gerry called them both into the kitchen. James and Erin tentatively opened the door to find the Quinn-McCool family, plus Michelle, Deirdre and Clare clapping wildly. A banner with the text “Welcome Home!” was blu-tacked to the wall.

“I wasn’t expecting this!” James exclaimed nervously, “But this is lovely, thank you.”

“It’s nice to have you both back,” Mary said with a smile as she gave both James and Erin a big hug.

“Hope you’ve got me a present, dicko!” Michelle said. James knew his cousin well enough to know that there was no malice.

“Michelle!” Deirdre snapped.

“Lovely to see you too, Michelle,” James said sarcastically, “Did I miss any craic?” Erin smiled with pride at James’s use of Irish slang.

“Say hello to the new ward sister!” Deirdre answered.

“Congratulations!” James said happily and gave his aunt a congratulatory hug.

“Yeah, that’s amazing news. Well done!” Erin added.

Deirdre, James and Michelle returned the Mallon household. “So, tell us all about the wedding,” Deirdre instructed - somehow managing not to sound too probing.

“Yeah, I wanna know everything that went on!” Michelle added with a knowing look.

“It was great,” James said. “The venue was rather fancy; it was this barn in the grounds of a big manor house in the countryside. I felt a bit out of place there! The food was great too and it was nice to meet Dad and Carol’s friends. I’m not so pleased about getting a new nickname though.”

“What’s your nickname?” Deirdre inquired.

“The wee English cub,” James answered. “My dad’s friends nicknamed him the Irish lion so logically I’m the English cub.”

“That’s actually rather cute,” Michelle giggled.

“Did Erin enjoy the wedding?” Deirdre asked.

“She loved it!” James replied. “She caught the bouquet and Dad immediately said, ‘Better buy a ring, son’. He teased us about getting married for the rest of the week!”

“Is your da English now?” Michelle asked facetiously, having noticed that James didn’t attempt to impersonate Rory’s accent when quoting his father.

“Such a comedian!” James muttered. “Erin got very drunk and mistook my dad for me at one point, which was hilarious.”

“Oh my god, how did I miss that?” Michelle shrieked.

“I know you look like your dad but Erin must have pretty gone to mistake him for you!” Deirdre laughed, before asking, “Have you bought a ring?”

“Mum helped me pick one when I met her in Liverpool,” James responded drily, deciding to play along with the teasing.

“Good lad, I bet your father’s proud of you,” Deirdre chuckled. James couldn’t help but wonder how Rory would react if he actually got engaged to Erin.


	2. History Repeating Itself?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James shows the Quinns the photos from the wedding. History appears to be repeating itself...or is it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A slightly longer chapter for you to read.
> 
> Shout out to one of my regular readers pearlydewdrop who requested some more lines from Granda Joe - look no further...

James, Michelle, and Clare knocked on the door of the Quinn household and were promptly let in by Orla, who led them into the sitting room.

“Evening, wee uns,” Mary said happily, “It’s nice to see you all again. I’ll miss it when you go to college.”

“When’s results day?” Joe asked as he put down his newspaper.

“Thursday, Granda,” Orla responded.

“Been to the gym, son?” Sarah asked James whimsically, noticing the holdall he was carrying.

“Yes, I had a self-defence session,” James replied.

“I may start going if there are strapping young fellas there,” Sarah mumbled airily.

“Sarah, don’t make James uncomfortable,” Gerry warned, noticing the boyfriend of his daughter and the son of his colleague squirming.

“Can’t believe I never had that idea!” Michelle huffed, “Gyms are always full of rides!”

“Yeah, like treadmills and rowing machines,” Orla said. Michelle, Erin and Clare rolled their eyes while James smiled.

“I picked up the photos of the holiday,” James announced. “Mary and Gerry, do you want to have a look through and see if you want copies of any?”

“Oh, certainly, son,” Mary answered enthusiastically. James passed the photos to Mary, who passed half of the pile to Gerry to look through. “Look at this one, Gerry!” Mary piped up suddenly as she came across the photo depicting James and Erin at the wedding with James standing behind Erin with his arms around her waist, their fingers interlocked.

Gerry leaned over and straightened his glasses. “That’s a great photo of you, Erin; you look beautiful in that dress,” he commented. 

“Thanks, Daddy,” Erin replied.

“Who’s the handsome fella behind you?” Gerry teased, winking at James with a smirk. 

“You’ve been spending far too much time with Dad!” James muttered.

“Well, we are friends and colleagues, son!” Gerry laughed.

“This is the fella,” Erin said proudly as she stood next to James and placed an arm around his back, “Unless, of course, it’s a picture of Rory,” she added and winked at James, before kissing his cheek. James frowned, even though he knew full well Erin and Michelle both considered Rory good-looking.

“But seriously, James, you look handsome in that suit,” Gerry said.

“Thank you,” James responded.

“Gerry, get that photo from our bedside table!” Mary commanded her husband. Gerry left the room and returned a few minutes later with a framed photo of himself and Mary on their wedding day. Just like in the photo of James and Erin - taken a mere nine days previously - Gerry stood behind Mary with his arms around her waist. The resemblance between Erin and Mary in the two photos was plain to see but also, Gerry’s hair was short and curly, like James’s, and they both wore grey suits, white shirts and green ties in their respective photos.

“History is repeating itself!” Mary shrilled happily.

“Catch yourself on,” Sarah gasped incredulously.

“Oh my god,” Michelle whispered, similarly shocked by the similarities between the photos.

“This is a good one,” Gerry said, holding up a photo of James and Rory standing together - suited and booted with arms around each other’s shoulders - and smiling broadly. “It’s weird that when I first met your father I couldn’t quite pin down why he looked familiar because you look just like him, and it’s especially obvious in this photo because you're both smiling.” James smiled, enjoying the comparison to his father.

“No wonder you got confused, Erin,” Michelle said unhelpfully with a smirk.

“Easily done,” Orla said.

“Really, Orla?” Clare asked incredulously, “Surely the different accents would be a giveaway?”

“He didn’t talk so I couldn’t tell it was Rory!” Erin hissed in protest. 

Joe walked over to have a look at the photo and was stunned to see one showing Erin holding the bouquet with a shocked facial expression. “What’s this all about?” he demanded, looking at James menacingly.

“I’m sorry, I don’t understand,” James replied weakly. Joe showed the photo to James and the younger man’s mouth fell open in embarrassment. 

“James, did you know about this photo?” Erin asked nervously.

“No!” James replied categorically. “I bet Glen took that one. I think he had the camera at that point.”

“Brilliant!” Michelle said happily. “I asked Glen to take some photos for me and the wee un’s done good!”

“You’ve been colluding with my twelve-year-old brother?” James asked his cousin incredulously.

“Yeah,” Michelle replied nonchalantly.

“Unbelievable!” Erin muttered.

Later that evening, James encountered Joe in the living room while, unusually, nobody else was downstairs. James gulped in response to the man’s steely glare. To give Joe his due, he was usually pleasant to James but James was now concerned that he had squandered the respect he had worked hard to earn - all because of a stupid photo.

“Mr McCool, I’m sorry about the photo,” James began, “I understand it was a bit of a shock to see it, but I won’t be marrying Erin any time soon.”

“You’d better marry her, boy!” Joe said coldly.

“Ok,” James said as he felt a chill down his spine. “I hope that when and if we decide to get married, we’ll have your blessing,” he added tentatively.

“Of course you will, you daft limey!” Joe barked. “I approve of you for my granddaughter and you will make an honest woman of Erin! If you don’t then I will haunt you beyond the grave!” 

“Certainly, Sir,” James acknowledged, at a loss for what to say.

“I’ve seen you with Anna and I know you’ll be a good father, son,” Joe said, still maintaining a severe tone of voice. Only Joe McCool could sound intimidating despite being unequivocally complimentary. James wanted to smile.

“Well, I always aim to be a decent person,” James said in his best attempt to sound confident and upbeat.

“You’re a fine boy, son,” Joe told the young man as his glare finally gave way to a smile. “You’re easily the most respectful young fella I’ve ever had the privilege of meeting and your father should be proud of you.” James smiled and made a mental note to recount this exchange to Rory. “And let me let you in on a secret: I don’t really hate Gerry but the entertainment I get from winding him up is priceless!”

“Fair enough,” James said diplomatically with a nervous chuckle.

“Now, boy, let’s have some fine Irish whiskey!” Joe announced, before pouring himself and James a small glass each. “It’s a crying shame you never met my Marie, God rest her soul.”

“Was she anything like Mary and Erin?” James inquired.

Joe chuckled. “Oh, you bet she was, son! Strict disciplinarian but with a heart of gold.” Joe took a sip of whiskey, while James smiled at the thought of an old lady with similar traits to Mary and Erin.

“I bet she was a remarkable lady,” James said.

“She sure was,” Joe confirmed before looking at James and adding, “And I tell you something, son: she would have loved you.” James smiled and felt touched by Joe's kind words.


	3. Results Day, Part One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A red-letter day arrives for the Derry girls.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's another chapter! 
> 
> I have already dedicated this fic to my good friend and creative partner Thenewwriter, who has a repertoire of excellent fics which I implore you to check out!
> 
> I am also going to dedicate it to pearlydewdrop who is another of my most loyal readers. Please check out her great fics too!

“It’s the same every year!” Joe ranted at the television. “The media have a total cack attack about whether A-Levels are getting easier! Grade inflation, standards slipping - catch yourselves on! Why does it never occur to them that our wee uns are simply cleverer?”

“And that maybe the standard of teaching is improving,” Gerry added.

“Oh, Da, I keep saying you should avoid watching the news during August,” Mary sighed.

“Aye, it's the silly season so it is,” Sarah mumbled whimsically.

“They must think we’re so vain and entitled that we don’t deserve good grades,” Erin huffed, “It’s injustice, I tell you. Injustice!”

“Erin, love, I’m sure you’ve got the grades you deserve,” Gerry said, trying to reassure his daughter.

“Talkin’ bout my generation!” Orla sang.

“I didn’t know you liked The Who, Orla,” Gerry remarked.

“It’s a cracker name!” Orla exclaimed. “People ask me who sings that song and I say ‘The Who’, they ask ‘The what’, I say ‘Who!’ and they ask ‘Yes, that’s what I’m asking you!’ It’s such great craic!”

“You know, Orla, that is actually really funny!” Erin chuckled.

“Do you explain that The Who are a band?” Gerry asked.

“Only when I get bored,” Orla replied.

“Wee uns, ring when you get your results!" Mary demanded

“We’d better go, Orla,” Erin said in a hurried tone, “Clare will be having a cack attack, Michelle will be...well, her usual self and it’ll be carnage!”

“What about James?” Orla asked, looking slightly concerned.

“If the lad has any sense he’ll be staying out of it!” Mary answered.

“That wee fella’s so patient and calm, so he is,” Sarah mumbled, “Well, he is!”

“He has to be with Michelle as his cousin!” Gerry laughed.

Michelle, Clare and James arrived and predictably, Michelle and Clare were bickering. “I just don’t know what I’ll do if I don’t get into uni!” Clare squealed.

“Clare, you’re the brightest of us all! You’ll be fine!” Erin said in an attempt to reassure her panicked friend.

“Clare, if you don’t get in then none of us will and we’ll all be failures together,” Michelle added matter-of-factly.

“Very helpful!” James muttered to Erin.

“I heard that, dicko!” Michelle snapped.

The gang of five arrived at school, by which time they were all quiet on account of the nerves they were all feeling. They entered the all-too-familiar school hall where Sister Michael was standing.

“Good morning, ladies,” the nun said, “Interesting outfit, Miss Mallon.” Michelle was wearing a tank top and short skirts to take advantage of the fact that they were allowed on school premises in non-uniform clothes. 

“Thanks, Sister,” Michelle replied with a smirk, prompting an eye roll from everyone else.

“Go to the desk labelled with the first letter of your last name and collect your results. Good luck ladies!” Sister Michael instructed.

Michelle, James and Orla walked over to the same desk while Clare and Erin walked to the appropriate tables. The gang regrouped, headed out into the corridor and on the count of three, opened their envelopes and broke out into euphoric smiles before embracing each other in an affectionate hug.

“Three As!” Orla yelled. “I can’t believe it!” Erin, Michelle, James and Clare looked at each other and then at Orla in astonishment. None of them knew Orla was that clever but she had outperformed them all. Not that it mattered as they’d all got into their preferred universities. 

They returned to the hall to find Aisling trying to reason with a cheesed-off Jenny. 

“Oh, hi Jenny!” Clare greeted the now-former prefect.

“Hi, guys,” Jenny replied, her tone slightly cold and miserably.

“Jenny, you’re being ridiculous!” Aisling snapped. “You’ve got into the uni you wanted and that’s the most important thing!”

“But I only got a B in French!” Jenny whined.

“I understand if you’re disappointed, but what you have to remember is that after today, your grades don’t really matter because you’ve got into your preferred uni,” James told Jenny softly.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” Jenny conceded with a sigh and smiled at James.

“Well, good luck to you all!” Aisling said brightly.

“Likewise,” Erin said flatly.

“James and I are going to go for a walk,” Erin announced, “So we’ll see you all later.”

Clare, Michelle and Orla headed off while James turned to Erin. “A walk?” 

“Well, not a walk as such but we’re going on a little trip. Follow me, handsome!” Erin commanded as she linked arms with James and started walking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just in case anything in this chapter didn't make sense: 
> 
> \- Each year in August (when exam results are released) the British media have a cack attack (I can't think of a better phrase) over the (alleged) "dumbing down" of education in the UK. For example, journalists speculate that exams are getting easier.
> 
> \- Silly season is a phrase used to refer to the summer months when (historically at least) not a lot happens so the papers fill their pages with pointless stories - about academic exams getting easier, for example!


	4. Results Day, Part Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erin and James take a walk. But where to?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Read on to find out where Erin wants to take James.

“Are you going to tell me where we’re going?” James asked Erin with frustration after walking for twenty minutes. 

“No, you’ll find out soon enough!” Erin answered, kissing James on the cheek.

James and Erin remained silent as they walked arm-in-arm; the elation at their academic success had not yet given way to nerves at the thought of going to university. As they walked further out of Derry city, James became increasingly perplexed. He assumed that Erin was taking him somewhere more romantic, but the soulless relief road that skirted the northern edge of the city - along which the traffic breezed steadily along at forty miles per hour - was anything but romantic. 

“We’re here!” Erin sang as they reached their destination.

“A business park?” James was still none the wiser.

“Yes, but not just any business park!” Erin confirmed.

“My dad works here, and so does yours,” James said slowly, “Are you saying we should go in and surprise them?”

“You finally worked it out!” Erin said drily. “I just thought it would be nice if you told your daddy face to face because I know how much it would mean to you.”

James smiled. “Wow,” he said, “I’m so touched that you thought of me. Thank you.” He placed his arms around Erin and kissed her cheek.

“Let’s go in!” Erin said, her tone of voice slightly fierce.

Erin pressed the button by the door to the unit occupied by Longford McCarroll Logistics. “Hello, it’s Erin Quinn and James Maguire, here to visit Gerald Quinn and Rory Dolan,” she announced confidently into the intercom.

A slightly crackly female voice sounded over the intercom: “Erin Quinn! Long time, no see! I’ll come out and let you in.” The owner of the voice appeared and opened the door to James and Erin.

“Sinead! I’d forgotten you worked here!” Erin exclaimed. “This is James, my boyfriend. You may know him as the wee English fella.”

“Nice to finally meet you, James. Your daddy talks about you all the time! He’s started referring to you as his wee English cub!” Sinead said brightly. “I’m Sinead O’Brien and I’m the office manager. I went to Our Lady Immaculate so I know Erin and the rest of your little gang of old!”

“Lovely to meet you, Sinead,” James said, shaking Sinead’s hand.

“So polite! You’ve really hit the jackpot there, Erin!” Sinead shrilled.

“I really did. We used to call him the English prick but he’s my wee English prince,” Erin simpered as she stroked James’s cheek.

“Young love, so adorable!” Sinead gushed, “Anyway, come in and take a seat.” Sinead led the two teenagers into a lobby and gestured to them to sit down on a cheap sofa. She headed into the main office and scanned the room, her eyes falling on the door of the meeting room just as Gerry and Rory emerged from it. “Gerry, Rory, you’ve got visitors!” she told her two colleagues, “Follow me!” 

“Visitors?” Gerry said quizzically as he looked at Rory with a perplexed expression.

“I think I know what this is about,” Rory responded with a knowing smirk.

Sinead showed Rory and Gerry to the entrance lobby.

"Of course, it's 'Bring your Wee Un to Work Day'. I forgot!" Rory joked.

“Hi, Dad, Gerry,” James said tentatively, “We’re sorry to bother you but Erin thought it would be a good idea to tell you our news in person.”

“We got in!” Erin blurted out. “Both of us got two As and a B!”

“Congratulations!” Rory cheered as he wrapped his arms around James tightly, causing the boy to squeal. “Sorry, just got a bit carried away with the euphoria. I had no doubt you could do it so I’m not surprised but I’m still delighted. I’m so proud of you, son.”

“Thank you, Dad,” James responded as he hugged his father.

“Well done to you too, of course, Erin,” Rory said to the girl as he hugged her.

“Thank you, Rory,” Erin replied.

“Well done, James,” Gerry said, “I’m very happy for you. Erin, you can use my desk phone to ring your ma. She’ll want to know.”

“James, you can use mine to ring your mother and Deirdre,” Rory added. “Well, Gerry, it’s official: we’ve both got clever wee uns!”

“We should celebrate,” Gerry responded, “James, Erin, do you fancy a pub lunch?”

“Sounds cracker!” Erin answered enthusiastically.

“Let’s go then!” Rory said, throwing his car keys up in the air and catching them with one hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so the destination of James and Erin's journey is somewhat more mundane than you may have been thinking but I thought you'd all like to see James sharing his news with Rory because...well, why not?
> 
> And yes, Erin has yet another nickname for James which I hope you like.
> 
> Thanks as always for reading and reviewing!


	5. Wheelie Bin Wisdom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James and Michelle go to the Quinns' at a time of crisis: uncle Colm is there and somehow managing to be even more boring than usual.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter for you all :)

James and Michelle knocked on the door to the Quinn house. The door opened quickly - to the surprise of the two cousins - and Erin appeared, looking flustered. “Thank God you’re here,” she sighed dramatically.

“What’s wrong?” James asked quizzically.

“Yeah, why are you being so melodramatic?” Michelle asked bluntly. “You could give Clare a run for her money!”

“Colm’s here,” Erin grumbled.

“Colm’s here? Jesus, Erin, I thought you were going to say there was a crisis!” Michelle huffed.

“This is a crisis!” Erin insisted.

“Better call the army,” James chuckled.

“Well it’s handy there are soldiers everywhere,” Michelle said with a smirk, “Better still, some of them are rides. Most of them, even.”

“Why aren’t you two taking this seriously?” Erin hissed.

“Wise up, Erin, it’s just your great uncle Colm,” Michelle scoffed.

“Exactly!” Erin snapped, “James help me!”

“I’d love to, but I’m still struggling to see why the presence of your great uncle Colm constitutes a crisis,” James said.

“Same here,” Michelle agreed.

“Well, I didn’t think this was possible but he’s somehow even more boring than usual!” Erin explained.

“Oh, Christ,” James and Michelle responded in perfect synchronisation.

“Now you’re getting it!” Erin huffed, “Just brace yourselves, ok.”

“Like this?” James asked, adopting the brace position as though he were on a plane. Michelle giggled as she followed James and Erin into the living room, where the Quinn-McCool family were all sitting in boredom, listening to Colm’s latest speech.

The moment Mary registered the presence of James and Michelle, her face lit up instantly. “Ach, James and Michelle, it’s yourselves!” she exclaimed exuberantly, which startled everyone else in the room. “Now, you’ll have to fill me in on the craic. Michelle, does your ma still not want her big bowl back? And James, did Carol get a new clutch cable? It feels like ages since we’ve seen you, doesn’t it, Gerry?”

“Yes, ages,” Gerry answered before turning to James and Michelle: “Just play along, trust me.” The cousins exchanged a baffled look; even for the Quinn household, this was weird.

Unfortunately, neither James nor Michelle responded to Mary’s questions before Colm resumed his monologue: “Now, I’m not against wheelie bins. In fact, I prefer them to the cylindrical sorts, but I can’t understand why general waste goes in the green bin and recycling goes in the silver bin.” He paused as the rest of the room tried to ignore him, then continued: “So I says to myself says I: Colm, you must always check the leaflet because if you chance to put general waste in the recycling bin, the council won’t collect it and you’ll be banjaxed transferring it over. And more importantly, you must always put the bin out by seven o’clock on collection day, because otherwise you’ll be lumbered with it for another two weeks, and the odour of two-week old food waste would be so bad they’d know about it in Dungiven.”

“Aye, that would sure be a nightmare, so it would,” Sarah mumbled, “Sure, the folks of Dungiven suffer enough with all the traffic.”

Colm’s eyes shut suddenly. “My, he’ll never run out of topics to ramble on incessantly,” Joe muttered.

“You have to hand it to him really,” Orla mumbled, “Sure he could write a column for the Derry Journal.”

“As a joke or seriously?” Gerry asked.

“Either would work,” Orla responded.

“Da, has he been falling asleep a lot randomly?” Mary inquired with a look of concern.

“Don’t be concerned, love,” Joe replied, “Sure, he hasn’t been keeping so well lately but the way he’s going he’ll bore us all to death first!”

Mary put the kettle on and Erin cut some more cake, while James carried the drinks over to the table. As they all chatted for the next hour, Colm showed no signs of waking up.

“Daddy, should you wake him up and take him home? He must be knackered so he must,” Sarah suggested.

Joe walked over to his brother and began to shake his shoulders gently. “Colm,” he called, “We need to get you home now.” When Colm didn’t respond, Joe shook his shoulders harder, “Oh Christ, he’s not responding!”

“Has he bored himself into a coma?” Sarah asked. 

“Catch yourself on, Sarah, that’s not possible!” Mary scoffed.

“Orla, can you just check his pulse?” Gerry asked, “It’s probably not necessary but best to do so to be on the safe side.”

“Ok,” Orla responded enthusiastically with a level of enthusiasm that was somewhat inappropriate, given the circumstances, but she always enjoyed practising her first aid skills. She placed two fingers on Colm’s neck and listened carefully for a beat, then opened his mouth to listen to check for signs of breathing, before pressing and releasing his thumbnail. “No pulse, no breathing, no circulation,” she told the room, who all stared at her in horror.

“Oh Christ,” Mary sighed, “Someone call 999.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this fic, Derry finally gets the long-awaited wheelie bins and I can imagine that he would ramble on about them.
> 
> I do not know what colour wheelie bins are in Derry (assuming it has them) but where I live, general waste is green and recycling is grey which is rather odd in my view.
> 
> Dungiven is a village east of Derry and (according to the internet) a traffic bottleneck as the road between Belfast and Derry runs right through it.


	6. A Funny Few Days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the day of Uncle Colm's wake, Michelle and James can't quite comprehend the strange circumstances of his death. Michelle and James are a comforting presence for Erin and Orla.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the next chapter!

“I still can’t believe it,” James said to Michelle over breakfast the following morning.

“Tell me about it,” Michelle sighed, sharing James’s incredulity.

“I mean, he was just talking about the most mundane subject ever and it would end up being the last thing he ever said,” James continued, “I just can’t get my head around it.”

“Aye, it’s a bit fucked up I’ll give you that,” Michelle agreed, “But equally it seems weirdly fitting that that’s the way he’d go. It’s almost as if he bored himself to death.”

“Michelle! You’re so wicked!” James gasped, even though he knew full well that tact was not Michelle’s strong point.

“I’ll take that as a compliment on the basis that wicked means good in England,” Michelle said proudly.

“But we’re not in England,” James pointed out, “and in this case, wicked means, well, wicked in the literal sense.”

“True,” Michelle acknowledged, “but you’re English so that’s good enough for me.”

“I guess you can take a boy out of England but you can’t take England out of the boy,” James muttered.

“Ain’t that the truth!” Michelle snorted, “I can see from the look in your eyes that you’re longing for tea and crumpets. I don’t know why the English buzz of crumpets so much, they’re minging!”

“What can I say? I’m just irredeemably English,” James conceded with a shrug.

“And I wouldn’t have you any other way,” Michelle said, “The entertainment I get at your confusion at how things work here is priceless.”

“Glad I could serve some purpose,” James said drily, “Anyway, I’d better let Dad know about the wake.” He picked up the phone and keyed in Rory’s direct dial while Michelle cleared the plates away.

After a few rings, Rory’s voice was suddenly audible. “Longford McCarroll Logistics, Rory Dolan speaking.”

“Morning, Dad,” James said, “I’m really sorry to bother you at work but I just wanted to say I can’t come over tonight. Something’s come up.”

“Is everything ok?” Rory asked with a hint of concern in his voice.

“Well, not exactly.”

“What’s the matter, son?”

“Erin’s Uncle Colm passed away yesterday when I was at the Quinns’.”

“Christ, really? Gerry’s in Coleraine today on a training course so I haven’t seen him.”

“Yes, he was just talking about wheelie bins when he fell asleep and never woke up. Paramedics came and pronounced him dead.”

“Oh Christ,” Rory muttered, “I don’t know what to say to that.” 

“That was my reaction!” James paused. “Anyway, the wake’s tonight and I’m just going along to be there for Erin - and Orla too actually. They’re both a bit shaken up and fragile. I’m sorry to cancel.”

“No problem at all, son. Take care of Erin and Orla and give them both my love. Let’s talk tomorrow!”

“Thanks for understanding, Dad. Bye!”

“Bye, son!”

James and Michelle walked over to Colm’s house that evening and found Erin and Orla sitting on a sofa quietly. Clare was unable to attend as she was still on holiday in Bundoran. “Hello,” James said tentatively. He gave Erin and Orla both a hug then sat down next to Erin, while Michelle took a seat next to Orla.

“Hi,” Erin and Orla replied.

“Are you ok?” James asked gently, “Well, not ‘ok’ as such, but you know, given-”

“I know what you mean, James,” Erin said softly with a smile, grateful of James’s efforts to make her feel better. He was exactly the person to have around at a time like this. “It’s strange because when he was here we couldn’t stand his incessant ramblings but now he’s gone I’d give anything to hear them again. They were a sort of constant in our lives, a certainty.”

“Like death and taxation,” Orla mumbled whimsically. Erin sniggered at the flippancy of Orla’s remark, which provided a strange source of comfort. “When we were wee, Uncle Colm used to read us bedtime stories. It was cracker.”

Erin laughed, “Mammy always got him to read to us to stop him rambling on about whatever random shite he was obsessed with that week and it was a really effective way of getting us to go to sleep,” she told James and Erin. “It’s hilarious really.”

“That is quite funny,” Michelle commented.

“I’ll get some tea,” James said. He got up and squeezed his way through the small, crowded room to the kitchen, where he found Joe clearing some plates away.

“Oh, it’s you, boy,” Joe said with a smile to indicate that he was actually pleased to see James, despite his frosty demeanour. “I didn’t know you were coming.”

“Erin seemed a bit fragile so I asked Mary if it would help her if I came and she said it would,” James explained, “I hope that’s ok?”

“You don’t need to explain yourself, son, you’re practically part of the family now,” Joe told James amiably before narrowing his eyes to form a steely gaze, “Just remember what I said about making an honest woman of Erin.”

“Don’t worry, Sir, I’ve got a plan!” James responded confidently with a smile.

“You’d better have one, son, or else there’ll be trouble,” Joe said menacingly.

James smiled. “How are you feeling?”

“It’s been a funny couple of days to say the least,” Joe answered, “I’m still shocked, obviously, at how sudden and unexpected it was. We always stuck by each other throughout and now he’s gone I feel part of me is missing. I never thought I’d miss hearing him rambling on about random shite but grief can do funny things.”

“My,” James sighed, “I don’t know what to say.”

“It’s ok, son, you don’t have to say anything,” Joe reassured James, “Just being there is all Erin and Orla need from you. Now go and look after them!”

James returned to the living room with the cups of tea he’d promised to make. Joe couldn’t help but smile; despite the sadness of the circumstances, he still felt optimistic about the future, which he knew was in the capable hands of the younger generation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for reading and reviewing!


	7. Residual Feelings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A visitor arrives at the Mallon house and has a few things to say.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back again! Had a bit of a crazy week so apologies for the delay, but here is my latest chapter - it's longer than the others but I hope you like it.

Deirdre had just finished vacuuming the living room when the doorbell rang. She opened the door to find her sister - along with her infamous eyebrows - standing on the doorstep, smiling brightly. “Oh, Kathy,” Deirdre said, “I didn’t think you were coming until tomorrow.”

“Nor did I, but Stena Line called me the other day offering me a free upgrade if I came today so I couldn’t say no. I must have forgotten to tell you in all the excitement. I’m glad I said yes to the upgrade because the cabin was utterly cracker. And of course, that means I get more time with my big sister!” Kathy replied.

Deirdre couldn’t help but smile at the way her sister emphasised the added luxury as the primary benefit for her early arrival in Derry. At least Kathy was visiting on her own free will and not under duress. Well, as far as Deirdre was aware anyway. “Well, come in then,” Deirdre said cheerfully and the two sisters hugged, genuinely happy to see each other. 

The two women walked into the kitchen and Deirdre put the kettle on. “Good trip from London?” she asked her sister.

“It was ok, thanks but I sure don’t miss getting stuck at Castledawson Roundabout,” Kathy answered. “So, any craic here?”

“Nothing much. Apart from the wee uns getting into college of course. Honestly, if you’d told me that my Michelle would be going to a top university I’d have died laughing.”

“I knew she’d do well. She’ll make something good of herself and make you and Martin proud,” Kathy said. “I know my judgement isn’t great sometimes butI’ve a good feeling about Michelle. I was a loose cannon at that age as you know and I think I turned out ok - eventually anyway.”

“Ma and Da would have been proud of you for setting up a successful business,” Deirdre told Kathy. “I know I don’t show it, but I admire you for it.”

“At least they never found out I was riding a Prod. Can you imagine if they had?”

“I don’t think they’d have been too surprised, to be honest,” Deirdre chuckled, “and to be fair you picked a good Prod to ride.” 

Kathy laughed. “Who are you and what have you done with my sister? You know, I think they’d have liked Rory if he were Catholic but I’m glad they didn’t find out before they died because I wouldn’t have wanted them to give James a hard time for being the son of a Prod and a Catholic.”

“Speaking of whom, you must be thrilled about James’s results,” Deirdre said. “I saw Rory the day after they came through and by Christ, he was an emotional wreck. I just think there’s something really pure about a forty-year-old bloke being on the verge of tears. Tears of happiness, that is.”

“Oh, absolutely, I can’t wait to see my boy again and smother him with kisses,” Kathy said with a broad grin. “I think we’re both blessed with our wee uns. I bumped into Dale and Richard in Tesco the other day and they both did really well too.”

“That’s good. I bet James will like being closer to his friends again, though I suspect Richard’s mother will tell him to stay well away from my Michelle if she knows anything about her!” Deirdre laughed.

“By the way, I’ve got something for Rory,” Kathy announced and opened her bag to produce a video case. “It’s a video of James as a wee un. I had a copy made because I think Rory deserves to see it. I mean, I don’t know if he’ll want to watch the tape because I know it may be painful for him but at least this way he can decide.” Kathy sighed and looked up at the ceiling, “God, trust me to have residual feelings for my married ex-boyfriend I abandoned nineteen years ago!”

“You have feelings for Rory?”

“Yes,” Kathy admitted, looking down at her feet. “I know it’s stupid because he’s married but the times I’ve met him since he and James found each other a year and a half ago made me realise that no fella I’ve ever met since Rory has ever matched up to him. Part of me wishes I’d asked him to come with me to England, which we briefly discussed at one point before I got pregnant because it would have been nigh on impossible for us to be together in Derry. Or anywhere in Northern Ireland for that matter.”

“You know, Kathy, if you had both gone to England, I would have stood by you because, whatever you’ve done, you deserved to be happy. And if that meant being in a relationship with a Prod and moving away, then so be it.”

“Really?”

“Yes. And we all suspected you wanted to leave Derry at some point but it was a shock how you left so suddenly.”

“I panicked Deirdre, I didn’t know what else to do!”

“I understand, it’s ok. God knows what I’d have done if I’d found myself carrying the child of a Prod in 1978! But we are where we are now. James is happy and has a great relationship with his Da and that’s the most important thing, surely.”

“You’re so right, Deirdre. You know, I’ve never said it before but I always admired you for being the sensible and grounded one of us. I think I was just jealous of you and I didn’t realise until later just how damaging and toxic jealousy can be. I still feel bad about how rotten I was to you all back then.”

“It doesn’t matter anymore, Kathy. It takes a lot of maturity and self-awareness to own up to your mistakes and apologise so give yourself some credit.” The doorbell rang. “I’m popular today! Wonder who this could be.” 

Deirdre opened the door to find Rory on the other side. “Deirdre, I’m sorry to bother you but I wanted to drop this round for Kathy when she comes.” Rory held up an envelope in his left hand.

“Come in, you can give it straight to her,” Deirdre said.

“Oh, she’s here already? Ok, that’s good timing!” Rory followed Deirdre into the kitchen where Kathy was drinking a cup of tea. Deirdre left the room to allow Rory and Kathy to talk in private.

“Oh, hello,” Kathy greeted Rory awkwardly.

“Hi Kathy,” Rory replied. His smile and the glint in his green eyes sent a tingle down Kathy’s spine, causing her to tense up slightly. “I’ve got some photos of James from the holiday to Cumbria and thought you’d like some copies.”

“Thanks, Rory. I appreciate this,” Kathy said with a grateful smile.

“Was no bother at all.”

“I know, but I mean the way you’re so civil with me despite everything I put you through.”

“Kathy, we’ve been through this before. The past is in the past and it can’t be changed and you know full well I don’t hold a grudge against you. Call me John Lennon but I honestly think the world - and this part of it, in particular - would be better without grudges!” Rory paused. “I’ve been thinking about it lately and in a way, I admire you for having the bravery to leave your home and I think you did it with both our best interests at heart.”

“You’re an incredible man, Rory Dolan,” Kathy said, “and I’m glad that of all the fellas I’ve had a relationship with - regardless of the length - you’re the one who fathered my child.”

“Erm, thanks,” Rory said, feeling a little perplexed by Kathy’s sudden compliments. “Can I ask what brought this on?”

“Well, I’ve realised that I still harbour some feelings for you, Rory. I know you’re married and you have two wee uns with Carol but since we re-entered each other’s lives, I’ve been reminded what a witty, charming and generally class fella you are. I’m sorry, but I can’t help how I feel and I don’t want to complicate things.”

“Kathy, I won’t pretend I’m not a little taken aback but nothing needs to be complicated. I’m happily married and that simplifies things because we both know exactly where we stand. If telling me about your residual feelings helps you get them out of your system and move on then that’s great. Even if I don’t reciprocate your feelings, I still care about you a lot and I genuinely hope you can find happiness - whether that’s with someone or alone. And of course, we’ll always have our wonderful boy.”

“Thank you, Rory. That means a lot.”

“It’s ok, Kathy. But please don’t tell James any of this. He doesn’t need to know and it would only risk opening a whole new can of worms. I hope you enjoy the photos but I warn you, they are very cute!”

“Oh, I can’t wait to see them! I’ve got this for you, by the way.” Kathy passed Rory the video case. “Some clips of James as a wee un.”

“Oh wow, thanks,” Rory said appreciatively, “That’s kind of you.”

“No problem, I hope you like it. Hug for old times’ sake?”

“I think that can be arranged,” Rory answered with a cheeky wink. He hugged Kathy briefly and then left - holding the video case in one hand and his car keys in the other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed it - I wanted to explore the relationship between Deirdre and Kathy at some point.
> 
> You will see Rory watching the tape in a later chapter.


	8. Two Generations of Derry Girls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kathy and Deirdre go to the Quinn house and catch up with their old friends, while the younger generation arrives home after a trip to Buncrana.

Kathy and Deirdre knocked on the door of the Quinn house and Mary opened the door to let them in, doing a double-take at the sight of Kathy (and her eyebrows). “Kathy, it’s yourself! Come in! Hello to you too, Deirdre.” Deirdre and Kathy followed Mary inside to the kitchen, where Geraldine and Sarah were drinking tea.

“Hello, girls,” Kathy announced.

“Kathy, your eyebrows are looking cracker as ever so they are,” Sarah remarked. “Do you remember, Geraldine? Back in the day-”

“Yes, Sarah, of course, I remember,” Geraldine responded, “I was there! Any craic with you Kathy? Sticker business going well?” Mary and Deirdre both sniggered at Geraldine’s use of the term that annoyed Kathy.

“Yes, thank you, Geraldine. Dunne’s are going to be stocking my labels soon so you’ll be able to get them here,” Kathy replied. “I trust I can rely on all of you to buy them and support a fellow Derry girl!" 

Deirdre laughed. “Kathy, I never thought you would call yourself a Derry girl!”

“Well, I am a Derry girl!” Kathy protested with a hint of indignation at what she perceived as Deirdre questioning the legitimacy of her status as a Derry girl.

“Yes, but you’ve never been proud of it until now!” Mary pointed out.

“Take a leaf out of your wee un’s book. He’s neither a girl nor from Derry but he embraces his honorary status,” Geraldine said.

“What can I say? He’s just so adaptable!” Kathy said proudly. “He must get it from me and Rory.”

“I’ll make some more tea,” Mary said. “Da’s over at Maeve’s and Gerry won’t be back from Belfast for a while given that it’s rush hour.”

“Excellent - gives us time for a little reunion!” Kathy said enthusiastically.

“Aye, it’s just like old times so it is. Except a few things have changed,” Sarah said whimsically.

“Where are the wee uns?” Kathy asked. “I assumed they’d be here.”

“Gone to Buncrana for the day,” Geraldine responded.

“On a sunny day like this they’ll be banjaxed on the bus so they will,” Sarah commented.

“They insisted on it though,” Mary added.

Suddenly, the door opened and the younger generation of Derry Girls (including the honorary one) entered the room. James stood at the back, laden with most of the bags, which he placed down on the floor. “Hello,” he said shyly, “Mum, I thought you weren’t getting here until tomorrow.”

“Got offered a free upgrade if I came earlier so I couldn’t refuse,” Kathy told her son, “That means more time with my big, handsome boy!” Kathy embraced James in a crushing hug and placed a big kiss on his cheek. 

James blushed. “Mum, please!” he whined.

“Honestly, he’s like a cranky baby!” Kathy said, prompting a laugh from the rest of the room. “Speaking of which, your father dropped round and I gave him a tape of you as a wee un. I hope he likes it!”

James’s face fell in horror. “Oh, Mum! Seriously?”

“Yes, James, seriously!” Kathy answered. “He didn’t get to see you grow up because of my decisions and this is my attempt to partly make up for it.”

“Sure, I’d love to see that video,” Michelle said with a smirk, “Then I’d have more ammunition to tease James with. Not that I need any.”

“Don’t listen to her, darling,” Erin said, kissing James’s cheek.

“No kissing in front of Orla, she can’t cope!” Mary scolded.

“Aye, she can cope, Mammy! She’s eighteen!” Erin retorted.

“Don’t be too smug, Michelle,” Deirdre warned, “I’ve got a video of you completely ruining your first communion.”

Geraldine laughed, “That was hilarious! Remember it like it was yesterday.”

“Aye, you should have sent it to You’ve Been Framed, Deirdre,” Sarah mumbled.

“Wish I’d thought of that!” Deirdre said.

“Ma, do you have any clips of me?” Clare asked with a worried look.

“Yes, but you were a very well-behaved wee un so they’re not very interesting,” Geraldine replied, “Pretty dull to be honest.”

“Sure, Mary, do you still have that video of Erin and Orla dressed as Christmas puddings dancing to Shakin’ Stevens?” Sarah inquired.

“Of course, Sarah,” Mary responded, “Orla pushed Erin over because she was being a little madam. Which I think was well-deserved.”

“Mammy, please!” Erin hissed. 

“I’d pay to see that,” Michelle said.

“I would too,” James added. Clare nodded in agreement but said nothing.

“Aye, she deserved it!” Orla said reproachfully while pointing at Erin.

“Orla, that was over ten years ago!” Erin snapped.

“Yes, but my point still stands!” Orla retorted.

“You know, Kathy,” Geraldine interrupted in an attempt to change the subject, “I’ve just noticed that James has your eyebrows.”

“Aye, Geraldine, he sure does,” Kathy gushed, grinning adoringly at her son, “With my eyebrows, facial features and slim frame and Rory’s hair, eyes and smile, he got the best of both of us!” She stroked James’s cheek, causing the boy to blush. “Did I ever mention that Rory was a massive ride back in the day?”

“I’d say he still is,” Michelle said.

“Michelle! You can’t fancy my dad!” James hissed.

“I don’t, I just think he’s cute,” Michelle explained.

“He does have nice hair, in fairness,” Erin added. “Just like this young fella here.” She ran her hand through James’s hair - eliciting an eye roll from Michelle and smiles from the five women sitting down - and kissed him on the cheek.

“I like his hair - it’s brown and curly like mine,” Orla remarked.

“Erm, thanks Orla,” James responded awkwardly.


	9. Emotional Conflict and Some Brotherly Banter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rory watches the tape Kathy gave him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Sunday people!

When Rory got home, he walked into the living room and sat down on the sofa, staring at the videotape he held in both hands. He was in two minds about Kathy’s gift; it was kind of her and it was good for James that his parents were on good terms but a part of him didn’t want to be reminded that he missed out on James’s childhood.

Breathing deeply, Rory tentatively pushed the tape into the VCR slot and turned on the television. A young woman appeared on screen, sitting on a shabby sofa in a small living room, and she was cradling a small baby in her arms. Rory paused the television. He recognised the young woman as Kathy; she looked virtually the same as when he’d last seen her just before her departure from Derry but being a young mother had clearly taken its toll.

Rory cast his eye over to the date stamp in the bottom right-hand corner: 5 July 1980, which happened to be his twenty-third birthday. He briefly cast his mind back to that day; he and Carol had spent the day in Carlisle then gone out for a meal in Newcastle city centre in the evening with Bev and Murray. They were young and care-free. Rory shuddered at the thought that only three hundred miles away, his Catholic ex-lover was raising his young son.

He pressed play and Kathy began to speak. “Hello, my name is Kathy Maguire and my friend, Carl, has just bought a camcorder! Cracker, isn’t it? Anyway, enough about me because this video is all about my big handsome boy!” Kathy stopped talking and held baby James up to the camera. Rory paused the video and studied the small child on the screen: his eyes were the same rich shade of green they were today and similarly, his hair was brown and curly. Rory smiled; there was no doubt that he was looking at James on screen. James as a baby looked very similar to Glen at the same age.

Rory unpaused the television again and Kathy resumed her commentary. “This is James Z Maguire. I thought it sounded fancy but couldn’t think of a name beginning with Z so just went with the initial! Anyway, I’ve been trying to teach him to talk so let’s have a go. Say ‘mama’.”

“Ma!” baby James squealed.

“Very good! He’s learning fast! Let’s do it again. Say ‘mama’.”

“Ma!” James said again.

“Such a clever wee un!” Kathy gushed, “What will he learn next I wonder?”

Kathy’s question was promptly answered when James produced another vocalisation. “Da!” Kathy looked surprised.

“Well, I wasn’t expecting that!” Kathy chuckled.

“Da!” James wailed plaintively.

“Oh, you want your daddy, don’t you?” Kathy cooed sadly. “I know, love, I know. You’ve got his eyes and his hair and I bet you’ll have his smile too! I know it’s hard but it’s gonna be ok, trust me.”

Rory promptly stopped the video and ejected the tape. He picked up his keys, walked out of the house and walked briskly for ten minutes until he reached a park, then sat down on a bench and gazed into the distance, trying to process what he’d seen. Given how zoned out he was, he did not register the sudden arrival of his brother until Mark spoke. “Rory?”

“Oh, hello, Mark,” Rory said quietly.

“What are you doing here?”

“This is gonna take some explanation. Let’s walk and talk.” Rory stood up and the two brothers began to walk.

“Is something wrong?” Mark asked, noticing the downcast expression on Rory’s face and judging that this probably wasn’t the right time to make one of his trademark facetious comments.

“Not exactly,” Rory replied flatly. He cleared his throat. “I saw Kathy today.”

“James’s ma?”

“Yes, she’s in Derry for a few days and I just happened to be dropping off some photos for her at Deirdre’s. She gave me a video of James as a wee un.”

“Oh. I guess you weren’t expecting that.”

“No, definitely not.” Rory paused and took a deep breath. “I’ve only watched a little bit of it so far and it shows Kathy teaching James to talk. He says ‘da’ a couple of times to which Kathy replies ‘you want your daddy don’t you?’”

“Oh Christ, that must have been hard to watch. Are you ok?”

“I think so, it was just painful to think of James pining for me when I didn’t know the lad even existed. This clip was even recorded on my twenty-third birthday when I was having fun with my friends while Kathy was trying to raise my wee un all on her own.”

“That’s not your fault, though!”

“I know it’s not, but somehow I can’t help feel guilty. In one way I’m grateful to Kathy for going to the trouble of getting the tape made so I can see what I missed out on but at the same time I feel so angry about letting James down, even though, as I said, I didn’t know he existed! God, why are emotions so complex?” 

“Beats me, I’m shit at dealing with them myself! I think most blokes are and therein lies the problem!”

“That’ll be why you love to make a facetious comment!” Rory chuckled, a smile returning to his face. “But thanks, Mark.”

“Anything to help my little brother!” 

Rory rolled his eyes. “Are you ever going to stop calling me that? You know, considering we’re both in our forties…”

“No, it’s funnier to keep a running joke going!”

“I hate to say it but I agree with you there!

“Newsflash: Rory Dolan accepts his big brother’s wisdom!”

“Whatever you say, Mark, whatever you say.”


	10. Some Things Are Simple

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rory talks to Carol about the tape.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter for you!

Rory returned home to find Carol’s car in the drive, alongside his own. He walked inside and continued to the living room, where Glen and Ciara were both playing on their Game Boys. “Hello, wee uns,” he said.

“Hi, daddy,” Ciara replied, looking up from her games console.

“Hi,” Glen grunted, remaining transfixed on his game.

Carol entered the room. “Ah, there you are!” she said.

“Kids, can you go upstairs please?” Rory asked. Glen and Ciara left the room.

“Rory, is something wrong?” Carol inquired anxiously.

“I saw Kathy today. She came to Derry earlier than initially planned and she was at Deirdre’s when I dropped in to drop off those photos for her. She gave me this,” Rory told Carol, holding up the videotape. “It’s a video of James as a wee un.”

“Right, ok,” Carol said flatly, “Have you watched it?”

“Only a little bit. Let me show you some of it.” Rory put the tape in, rewound it to the beginning and played it up until the point he had previously stopped it.

“Gosh,” Carol gasped, moved by the sight of James pining for his father.

“I had to get out and clear my head because it was so hard to watch.”

“No wonder. Do you feel a bit better now?”

“Somewhat. A big part of me wishes I’d seen James grow up but then I probably wouldn’t have met you and Glen and Ciara wouldn’t even exist. God, it kills me to think that, it really does but I’ve gotta learn to deal with this emotional conflict.”

“Don’t be too hard on yourself. I understand why you feel like that but just remember our life experiences make us who we are - for better or worse.”

“Yeah, I guess I have to keep reminding myself of that. I bumped into Mark and told him about the tape and how I felt. He said that blokes are just bad at dealing with emotions and I think he’s right.”

“Well yes, that is a very common bugbear among women!” Carol chuckled and Rory smiled. “Did Kathy have anything else to say?”

“Yes, and this is rather awkward but she said she still had residual feelings for me.”

“Oh, right,” Carol said, her shoulders tensing up.

“Obviously, she knows nothing’s ever gonna happen between us and she didn’t make advances on me or do anything inappropriate. She just said she’s always thought of me as an utterly class bloke.”

“Well that makes sense,” Carol said matter-of-factly.

“Does it?” Rory was not expecting this response. “Doesn’t it bother you?”

“It makes perfect sense. She’s attracted to you for the same reasons that I married you but I suspect she looks at you and thinks what she could have had. Do you still have feelings for her?”

“Not romantically but I feel we have some bond, some...connection. Do you know what I mean?”

“Of course you have a connection with Kathy, she’s the mother of your child!”

“I see it mainly as a partnership for the benefit of James but I still care about her and if admitting her feelings helps her move on then I can’t really complain too much.”

“Aren’t you the pragmatist! Shall we watch the rest of the video?”

“Ok,” Rory sighed, dreading to think what else the video contained. 

He pressed play. On the screen, Kathy started to bounce James up and down on her knee, but he continued to wail, “Da! Da!” then broke down in tears. Rory took a tissue from the thin cardboard box on the coffee table in an increasingly futile attempt to control his own tears.

Rory gulped. “This is so hard to watch,” he said, “But I owe it to James.” Carol said nothing and simply placed her hand on her husband’s knee as a sign of support.


	11. Heart to Heart, Man to Man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rory talks to James about the harrowing video.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in updating - here's the next chapter!

James opened the door to his father’s house and walked inside, followed by Erin. Rory emerged from the kitchen and tensed up a little as he laid eyes on his eldest son for the first time since watching the video that had brought him to tears.

“Evening,” Rory said stiffly, “Nice to see you both again.” James frowned and narrowed his eyes slightly; he was used to being greeted more jovially by his father - often being addressed as the “English cub”.

“Always lovely to stay here,” Erin responded. “I’ll take these upstairs,” she added, sensing that Rory needed to talk to James privately, and headed upstairs, carrying hers and James’s overnight bags.

Rory headed towards the kitchen, followed by James. “Dad, what’s wrong?” James asked, “You’re acting weirdly.”

“I watched that video your ma gave me,” Rory responded flatly.

“Oh.”

“It shows you crying ‘da!’ several times and it just hit me quite hard.” Rory took a deep breath.”It just reminded me that while I was living a care-free life at twenty-three your ma was raising you as a single mother.” He paused and looked James in the eye. “I’ve been such a rubbish father to you.” Rory screwed up his eyes to stem the tears that were returning. “I mean, there’s no such thing as a perfect father and I’ve made mistakes with Glen and Ciara and I will probably make more but with you, I failed to fulfil the most basic responsibility of being there for you!”

“Dad, you know that’s not your fault and that I don’t resent you for it,” James said softly. “It would be incredibly unreasonable of me if I did!”

“You’re right, son,” Rory acknowledged. “But I can’t get away from the feeling that I let you down.”

“Dad, you’re the best father I could have ever hoped for!” James said, struggling not to cry. “I’m so lucky to have you in my life. You so much for me, you’ve no idea! For one thing, I’m much more confident now, and there are plenty of other examples I could give. I just hope I can do you proud. You know how much you mean to me, don’t you?” James returned his father’s plaintive gaze.

“Yes, of course I do,” Rory said with a smile and suddenly wrapped his arms around his son. “I love you so much, son. More than you’ll ever know.” He tightened his embrace around James’s slim frame. “I never imagined quite how powerful the love of father could be until I became one myself. Or rather, until I became a father and knew about it.” 

They both laughed. “Love you too, Dad.”

Erin came into the room to find the father and son in a deep hug. “Is everything ok?” she asked slowly, noticing Rory’s face was slightly red.

“Yeah, fine,” Rory replied brightly. “We were just having a heart to heart chat! Man to man, father to son.” He rubbed his hand affectionately on James’s shoulder. “Sometimes it’s good to let it all out, you know?”

“Yeah,” James said, nodding his head vigorously. “With the new millennium around the corner, it’s good for men to be in touch with their feelings. Isn’t that right, Dad?”

“Exactly right, son, exactly right!” Rory said, “Such a modern fella is my English cub!”

“Ok,” Erin said, “Well, does that mean I can get a hug from you both?”

“At the same time?” James asked.

“Preferably,” Erin answered.

“Come on, let’s do it,” Rory said confidently. The three hugged. James closed his eyes and savoured the warmth and security he felt in the arms of two of the most important people in his life. They broke apart and Rory looked at his watch. “Carol and the wee cubs will be back in about five minutes. James, can you lay the table?”

“I’ll get drinks,” Erin said.

As predicted, Carol and the children returned and the family sat down to dinner. “I love your nails, Erin,” Carol remarked. “They’ve been very well painted. The finish is lovely.”

“Thank you. Very talented is this one,” Erin responded, smiling at James, who blushed. 

“Yeah, mum taught me how to paint nails when I was seven,” James said, self-consciously.

“James painted your nails? That’s a girl’s job!” Glen snorted.

“Don’t be nasty to your brother, Glen,” Rory said sternly with a slight sneer.

“Sorry, James,” Glen said.

“I developed quite a steady hand, which proved to be a transferable skill,” James said.

“You did a great job of painting those skirting boards,” Carol commented. “Maybe you should learn, Glen.”

“Girls may like you for it,” Ciara suggested.

“You’re ten, what would you know?” Glen sneered.

“I’m a girl,” Ciara said in a snarky tone. 

“Glen Dolan, stop being rude!” Carol snapped.

“You should listen to your brother, son,” Rory said to Glen, then glanced towards James. “James went to a girls’ school so he must know everything there is to know.”

“Yes, but there are girls, and then there are Derry girls,” James said with a cheeky smile.

“What do you mean, James?” Erin asked slowly, casting a cold stare at James that she had copied from her mother.

“Nothing, just that they’re the best kind!” James answered. Erin rolled her eyes.

“Honestly, son, I don’t know where you get that sense of humour and charm from,” Rory said ironically.

“Indeed,” Carol said pointedly to Rory with a comical glare.

Later that evening, the doorbell rang and Rory answered it to his brother. “Evening, Mark,” he said, “Can I help you?”

“Can I help you?” Mark repeated in a mocking tone, “What are you, a doctor’s receptionist? As it happens, I’m just returning your steam cleaner.” He pointed to a box by his feet.

“Oh, thanks,” Rory said, “Come in, James and Erin are here.”

“Ah, your wee English cub!” Mark said with a chuckle. He followed Rory inside and to the kitchen, where Erin had just finished loading the dishwasher. 

“Hi, Mark,” Erin said.

“Erin, nice to see you!” Mark beamed, “Well done for getting into college. Excited?”

“Yes, a bit nervous though!” Erin replied.

“You’ll be fine, love,” Rory said encouragingly, “Do you know where James is?”

“He went upstairs,” Erin answered.

“George is off to uni next year, isn’t he?” Rory asked Mark.

“Yes, he will be,” Mark replied, “Why do wee uns grow up so quickly?”

“Beats me,” Rory responded. “Ah look, it’s the wee English cub!” he said as James entered the kitchen.

James groaned. “How many people have you told about that nickname?”

“That would be telling, son!” Rory replied with a broad grin as James rolled his eyes.

“I didn’t know you were coming round,” James said to Mark.

“I was just dropping off the steam cleaner but this is turning into a little gathering. Any more and it’ll become a party!” Mark responded.

“Ring Michelle, she loves a good party!” Erin chuckled.

“She’s good fun, is Michelle, I like her,” Mark commented.

“Of course you do, you’ve both got a questionable sense of humour!” Rory said.

“Maybe you’re Michelle’s da!” Erin giggled.

“Did you have a girlfriend in Derry back in the day?” James asked his uncle with a grin.

“A gentleman never tells,” Mark answered, tapping his nose and winking.

“Sorry, my cub is misbehaving!” Rory said, feigning disappointment and shaking his head.

“Cub...just my luck to get a nickname like that!” James muttered.

“What’s wrong with that?” Erin asked, “Cubs are cute!”

“I don’t want to be cute though!” James whined. Erin smiled; she had never seen James so adorable.

“But you are!” Erin simpered in an attempt to channel Marilyn Monroe. “You’re a cute wee English fella!”

“You were definitely cute as a wee un son, and I’ve got the video evidence to prove it!” Rory said with a grin.

“Honestly,” James mumbled under his breath.


	12. Making It Count

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James and Erin discuss the impending move and decide to make their time alone worthwhile.

That night, Erin and James climbed into the bed in the room previously known in the spare room. “Cuddle me, James,” Erin instructed. James slid his right arm under Erin’s right side and gently wrapped his left arm around across her chest while turning onto his right side. 

“Is that ok?” James asked with a tired smile.

“Cracker,” answered quietly, “You’re such a gent for sacrificing all feeling in your arm the following morning. You’re like a big cuddly bear! Though that makes sense given you’re a wee English cub!”

“Don’t tell me you’ve got into the habit of calling me that too,” James muttered.

“Of course I have, it’s adorable and I think it sums up the relationship between you and your dad pretty well,” Erin explained.

“I can’t disagree with you there,” James conceded.

Erin shuffled closer to James to feel the benefit of the heat from his body. “You ok?” James asked.

“Of course, there’s no place I’d rather be than snuggled up with a handsome fella. Preferably if the fella in question is my boyfriend,” Erin answered and giggled. James squeezed Erin’s hand.

“Aren’t you just the comedian?” James said drily.

“I’m just...dreading being away from you,” Erin said sadly.

“We won’t be too far away so we’ll see each other,” James said in a hopeful tone of voice he hoped would reassure Erin. “I know it’s not the same as seeing each other every day but you can rest assured I’ll be thinking of you constantly.”

“Even in lectures?” Erin giggled.

“Yes, unless it’s a super interesting lecture that consumes all of my available attention.”

“Attention...scarce resource for fellas!”

“Hey! I listen to you don’t I?”

“Well, you did just then!” Erin giggled, “You’re so adorable when you protest like that.”

“Fair enough,” James chuckled softly.

“I won’t lie, I’m quite excited about telling people I bagged the only fella in the school,” Erin said with a mischievous smile.

“It’ll show people you’re an alpha female - a woman not to be trifled with. Anyone who trifles with you will end up as trifle.”

“It would consist of trifle with swiss roll, chocolate custard and normal custard.”

“So a bit of a trifle and lots of other stuff?”

“No, it would just be trifle throughout! And it would contain liquor. Irish liquor all over!”

“How did we end up talking about desserts?”

“There are worse topics to discuss, but I’m getting hungry now.”

“What for?” James asked.

“That’s for you to work out,” Erin teased.

“Is that so?” James asked with a suggestive wink, “Anyway, changing the subject slightly: it will be a challenge being apart and nothing’s guaranteed but if we try really hard to make it work then there’s a reasonable chance it will.” James paused. “Anyway, we need to make this time together count.” He released Erin from the tight embrace and produced a silver foil package from his wallet on the bedside table, just as Erin turned around to face him.

“Well, let’s get to it then,” Erin said confidently.


	13. Priceless Craic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the eve of their departure for uni, the gang go for one last trip to the pub for a bit of craic. 
> 
> Well, a bit more craic than some of them had bargained for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can I just express an opinion that no other word fits as well as craic?

“Come on dicko, the girls will be waiting for us!” Michelle huffed.

“Coming!” James responded, hurriedly tying his shoelaces. “See you later, Auntie Deirdre and Uncle Martin!”

James and Michelle headed towards the Quinn house - a journey they knew so well they could practically do it with closed eyes. They knocked on the door and Mary answered. Orla, Erin and Clare appeared at the bottom of the stairs, excited about going to the pub.

“Now, wee uns, no funny business at the pub tonight!” Mary warned.

“Oh, mammy, please! It’s just the pub!” Erin scoffed.

“Sure, Mary, who was that lass from Pump Street who went to the pub one evening and ended up as a roadie for The Undertones?” Sarah interjected.

“My point is proven,” Mary said smugly.

“Being a roadie for The Undertones. That would be class,” Michelle said with a knowing smile.

“I’d rather be a roadie for The Overtones,” Orla mumbled wistfully.

“They don’t exist, Orla!” Erin hissed.

“Let’s create them then!” Orla beamed.

“We can’t do that!” Clare squealed, “We’ve got to go-”

“Now, wee uns,” Mary cut in suddenly. “You will go to college to study and if necessary we will ring your tutors to make sure you’re turning up to lectures! James, why are you laughing? Your father will be thinking exactly the same!”

“I hardly think so, Mary. Knowing Rory he’d probably be joking along!” Gerry laughed.

“Back my Mary up, boy!” Joe barked. Gerry said nothing. “Oh, are you ignoring me now?” Gerry remained silent and exchanged a furtive smile with James.

“Enjoy your evening, girls,” Gerry said finally. The five eighteen-year-olds suddenly left the house and walked into their favourite pub.

“I can’t believe it’s our last time together,” Clare said anxiously.

“Our last time together? WIse up!” Michelle scoffed dismissively.

“You may scoff, Michelle, but my cousin went to uni, changed completely and never saw her friends again!” Clare retorted.

“Clare, I’m confident we won’t drift apart,” James said soothingly. “We’ve been through too much together, and I’ve only been here for a fraction of your lives!”

“James is right,” Erin said, placing an arm around her boyfriend’s shoulders.

“I don’t go for all that sentimentality but I must concede that the wee dick has a point,” Michelle acknowledged.

“Oh look, it’s a karaoke competition!” Orla piped up suddenly, looking at a poster.

“Hmm, interesting,” Michelle said before she suddenly got up from her seat and headed for the bar.

“Should we be worried?” James asked nervously.

“Aye, be afraid, be very afraid,” Orla replied in a sinister tone, which only added to James’s discomfort.

Twenty minutes later, Orla was proved correct when the barmaid suddenly announced over a microphone: “Ok, folks, it’s time for the karaoke competition! Our first contestants are James and Erin!”

Erin and James exchanged a horrified look and turned to Michelle. “Michelle, did you enter us into the karaoke competition?” Erin asked slowly with a cold stare.

“Of course I did, I thought it would be good craic!” Michelle answered mischievously. Erin’s glare hardened, which just amused Michelle even more.

Reluctantly, James and Erin stood up and sheepishly walked up to the barmaid and announced themselves. “Ok, everyone, we have our first entry. Singing ‘You’re the One that I Want’, it’s James and Erin!”

“Oh feck, Michelle knows I can’t stand this film!” Erin grumbled.

“Let’s just go for it, it may even be fun!” James said, trying to hide his own feelings of dread. 

The song began, and James and Erin stood awkwardly, hoping a hole would open up in the ground and lead them to an alternate dimension. “I got chills, they’re multiplying. And I’m losing control. And the power you’re supplying, it’s electrifying!” James sang timidly.

“You better shape up! Ooh ooh ooh! ‘Cause I need a man!” Erin sang, “And my heart is set on you!” She pointed at James as she addressed him, and somehow the young couple felt a surge of enthusiasm. They finished the song to rapturous applause from the pub’s other customers then discreetly returned to the table.

“Why, Michelle, why?” James asked incredulously.

“You really think I’d miss out on that kind of entertainment?” Michelle said. “Orla, Clare, tell him!”

“Catch yourself on!” Michelle, Clare and Orla said unison.

James smiled. He would miss this craic. There was no other suitable word in the English language. 

On the walk home, James and Erin hung back to get some private time to talk. “God, I’m gonna miss you so much!” Erin said sadly as she held James’s hand tightly.

“I will too,” James replied, beginning to well up. “But it’ll be ok, I know it will.” They walked in silence for a few minutes until James swallowed and asked, “Is kissing in public acceptable?”

Erin said nothing and kissed James passionately as if there were no tomorrow.


	14. The Start of a New Chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's finally time for James to leave Derry behind, and it feels surreal for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Features Michelle being out of character...read on for more!

James woke up one morning and looked around at his room. If he could still call it that on account of the fact that he wouldn’t be sleeping in it for a while, and all his possessions were in suitcases. After years of living in Derry, the day had finally come when he would be leaving for an extended period of time.

He walked downstairs where Deirdre and Martin were getting ready to go to work.

“Morning, son,” Martin said as he finished eating his toast, “Big day today.”

“It still doesn’t quite feel real,” James muttered.

“It’ll feel strange not having you and Michelle around, love,” Deirdre said, “We’re going to miss you so much.”

“I will too,” James said, breathing heavily. “Never thought I’d feel so emotional about leaving this place when I used to go to bed wishing that I’d wake up somewhere else.”

“I know what you mean, love, but don’t overthink it. It’s the next chapter of your life!” Deirdre said brightly.

“Just remember, if you - as a wee English fella - can survive Derry, the world’s your oyster!” Martin added.

“Thank you, this means a lot,” James whispered.

“Good luck, love,” Deirdre said with a smile. “And I know you’ve got your da in your life now and your ma’s finally taking you seriously but you can always pick up the phone if you want to talk.”

James exchanged a hug with Deirdre and a handshake with Martin and this aunt and uncle subsequently left for work. A few hours later, James went upstairs to bring his suitcases down. The doorbell rang and Michelle answered it to find Rory on the other side.

“Hi Michelle,” Rory said, “Is James upstairs?”

“Yeah, he’s just getting his bags down. I’m still packing my stuff and I’m leaving tomorrow myself!” Michelle answered. She led Rory inside. “We went to the pub last night and I entered James and Erin into a karaoke competition.”

“Really? What did they sing?”

“You’re the One That I Want. You know, from Grease?”

“Unfortunately, yes. Carol loves that film and it’s only a matter of time before she introduces it to Ciara. God help me! But I’d have paid to see that!”

“It was class! He’s a lot of fun is our James.” Michelle smiled.

“I can’t disagree there,” Rory chuckled.

James came down the stairs with one of his suitcases to find Rory talking to Michelle. “Hi, Dad,” he said.

“I hear you’re Derry’s answer to John Travolta, son,” Rory said with a smirk.

“Oh Michelle, did you really have to mention that?” James groaned.

“Of course I did, James!” Michelle replied.

“Don’t begrudge your old man a bit of entertainment, son,” Rory added, his tone of voice still affectionately jocular. “Are you almost ready to go?”

“Just got one more suitcase to get,” James answered, then disappeared upstairs.

“God, I’m gonna miss him so much,” Michelle sighed.

“I know, Michelle love,” Rory said quietly, “Truth be told, I’ve been dreading this for weeks. I hardly slept last night. But you’ll still see him plenty. You’re going to Leeds, right?” Michelle nodded. “You’ll only be about an hour on the coach from James then. Getting from Leeds to Manchester is a fairly quick journey. Quicker than getting from Derry to Belfast in any case!”

“That’s good to know,” Michelle said with a smile.

James came downstairs with his final suitcase and announced, “Ok, that’s the last one.”

Michelle helped Rory and James load the car then took a deep breath when she realised it was finally time to say goodbye. “Rory, can you excuse us for a moment?” she asked.

“Of course,” Rory answered, knowing full well why Michelle wanted to talk to James in private.

Michelle and James walked inside. Michelle hugged her cousin so tightly he squealed. “Sorry, James,” she said softly, “I’m not good at anything that involves emotions but I’m gonna miss you so much. I just want to say I’m sorry for being a bitch to you when you first arrived because you’re fun to be around and I should have shown you more empathy. I’m sorry.” She wiped a tear from both her eyes.

“It’s ok, Michelle. I’ve no hard feelings, honestly, and I must say it’ll feel weird not seeing you every day. It’ll be quiet for one thing! But seriously, I appreciate the tough love and thank you for being such a good guardian angel,” James responded with a sad smile, feeling as emotional as Michelle.

“God, James, you’re a sound fella, you know that? Just like your da,” Michelle said. “I’ve never been described as an angel before. Apart from the time Sister Michael called me a fallen angel.”

“Don’t ever change, Michelle,” James said quietly.

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Michelle replied with a smile.

The cousins walked outside and found Rory leaning against the car bonnet, waiting to set off. “Ready?” he asked gently.

“Yes,” James replied.

“Michelle, have a great first term and best of luck,” Rory said, “And thank you so much for taking care of James, I appreciate it.”

“It was no bother,” Michelle responded politely, “Thank you, Rory.” Michelle walked over to Rory and hugged him. “Goodbye, James.”

“Bye, Michelle.” The two cousins hugged for one final time before Rory and James climbed into the car and set off. James looked out of the window at the various landmarks such as the Free Derry Corner, the Foyle Valley Railway Museum and the Craigavon Bridge. He reflected on how he had gotten used to a city that once felt so alien and hostile, and it all felt surreal.


	15. The Overnight School Run

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rory drops James off at university, which proves emotionally difficult.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's another chapter!

Rory woke up and looked across the ferry cabin towards James. He climbed out of the narrow bed, walked over to James and shook his son’s shoulders. “Morning, James,” he whispered, “We’re almost there.”

James yawned, sat up and rubbed his eyes. “Ok, Dad.” After showering, they headed down to the car and once the ferry had reached Birkenhead, Rory drove off out onto the streets, through the tunnel under the Mersey then out of Liverpool city centre onto the M62 towards Manchester. 

“We should be there in less than an hour,” Rory said, “Excited?”

“Yeah, just trying to stay calm,” James answered.

“I’m not sure if this helps but I’ve got a good feeling you’re gonna be just fine, son. Really, I do. Just take it one step at a time and don’t worry if things don’t fall into place right away. Remember you’ve got three years there!”

“Thanks, Dad, I appreciate that.” James and Rory exchanged a brief smile and Rory briefly squeezed James’s shoulder with his left hand. On reaching Manchester, Rory carefully followed a series of temporary signs to the drop off point. He parked up, and walked with James into a large building swarming with anxious new students, their parents, and chirpy student ambassadors wearing lanyards and university issue t-shirts. James collected his key and proceeded to his assigned flat with Rory.

“This is all right,” James said as he looked across the small room at the bed, desk, wardrobe, corkboard and basin. 

“Yeah, it’s not too shabby,” Rory agreed. “Let’s get some lunch once we’ve taken your luggage up.

Rory and James retrieved James’s luggage from the car, walked to the Students’ Union food court and bought a light lunch. After eating, Rory stood up and said, “I’ll be right back, son.”  
He returned shortly after with a plastic carrier bag, which he passed to James. “This is for you, son.”

James opened the bag and pulled out a grey hooded top emblazoned with the university crest. He looked up at Rory and smiled. “Thank you, Dad. You shouldn’t have.”

“I just thought I should celebrate a wee un of mine getting into a good university,” Rory replied, reciprocating James’s smile.

Rory and James walked back to the car. Finally, it was time to say goodbye. “Well, I guess this is it,” James said, letting out a deep breath.

“Good luck, son,” Rory replied, “If you ever feel homesick or need to talk, just pick up the phone, ok? And don’t forget to write!”  
“Bye, Dad.” James hugged his father tightly.

“Bye, son.” 

James headed off and Rory quickly climbed back into the car to avoid the sight of his son walking away. He gripped the steering wheel and let out a deep breath, closed his eyes and concentrated hard on the ambient sounds in an attempt to counter the growing sense of pain he felt on finally saying goodbye to James. Eventually, he opened his eyes, fastened his seatbelt, started the car and drove off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rory buying James a uni hoodie to celebrate him getting into university is based on my parents doing the exact same thing to me.


	16. The Abridged Story of James Maguire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James makes a new friend and recounts his life story.

After Rory set off home, James walked back towards his new flat, trying his best to fight the rising sense of homesickness he was feeling. He stopped and made a 360-degree turn, taking in the sight of the campus; it had still not sunk in that he would be living here for the next three years. With the sheer number of people walking past, he felt invisible and anonymous, which he hadn’t felt since before he moved to Derry. 

James entered the accommodation block and walked up the flight of steps to his flat and into his bedroom. He opened a suitcase and found a wallet full of photographs. He decided to put these up first, which he reasoned would be more fun than sorting through his clothes. James laid the photos on his desk and took out a small box of safety pins he had purchased the other day for this very purpose. Within ten minutes, all of the photos were displayed on the cork board and the room felt significantly less sterile and more homely. James stood back, scanned the photos and smiled. Most of the photos were from his time in Derry but there were a few from his years in London. One of them depicted him on the beach at Broadstairs with Dale and Richard when they were just fourteen. Dale had a brace on his teeth, which, James remembered, had attracted a lot of attention from their classmates the day Dale came to school with it on for the first time. It seemed like a lifetime ago. 

James bent down and picked up a small frame containing a photo of him flanked by his two siblings; Glen and Ciara had bought this as a small present. He looked back at the photo in Broadstairs; it seemed incredible to think that on that day, which he remembered well, he had two siblings aged six and eight whose existence he was completely unaware of and who likewise had no idea of the existence of their English older brother. James remembered that it had been a very hot day and wondered whether Rory and Carol had taken Glen and Ciara to Portrush; it seemed surreal to think that while James was spending time with his friends, his unknown family were engaged in the same activity as him in the opposite corner of the United Kingdom.

Better get on with unpacking the rest of this stuff, James thought to himself.

“Hello?” a voice came from the door in a nondescript accent that James couldn’t easily identify.

James turned around to find a boy of his age standing in the doorway, looking back at him. The boy was tall and slim with short, gelled up brown hair and chocolate brown eyes; he looked like a member of one of those boy bands Ciara was keen on. “Oh, hi. Have you just got here?” 

“Yeah, parents left about five minutes ago. I’m Jason, by the way. Jason Gamble.”

“James. James Maguire, nice to meet you,” James offered his hand which Jason shook. It reminded him of when he first met Rory at Mary and Gerry’s house and he briefly thought about how astonishing it was that a man he had bumped into entirely by chance would turn out to be his biological father.

“Likewise, James.”

“Do you want a beer?” James offered.

“That would be great, thanks. Unpacking can wait!” 

James located the six-pack of beer cans that Rory had recommended he buy as an easy way of breaking the ice. He took two cans and passed one to Jason. He sat down on his bed, while Jason took a seat on the cheap desk chair. “So, I guess we’d better do introductions,” Jason said. “I’m studying Geography and I’m from Leamington Spa in Warwickshire.”

“I’m studying Economics and I’m from London,” James responded. He decided not to mention that he lived in Derry - that could wait until later - so decided to ask Jason another question: “Leamington Spa - is that near Birmingham?”

“Yes,” Jason replied. “About half an hour by train, right next to Warwick, about twenty minutes from Stratford and Coventry.”

“Stratford as in Shakespeare’s birthplace?” 

“Yes, exactly. When I was a kid we always went there whenever we had visitors. Got pretty tired of the place by the time I was twelve! Did you have a good journey here?”

“Yeah, the ferry crossing was nice and smooth. It was overnight so it was a pretty efficient way to travel.” James froze when he realised what he’d said.

“A ferry?” Jason looked at James quizzically.

“Sorry, I forgot to explain I actually live in Derry, Northern Ireland,” James explained. “Bit of a long story.”

“Is that the same place as Londonderry?” 

“Officially, it’s Londonderry but most people there call it Derry. Catholics prefer to call it Derry and it’s a predominantly Catholic city.”

“Right...so, how come you live in Northern Ireland? Did your parents move there for work or something?”

“It’s a bit of a long story.” James paused. “So, when my mum - who’s from Derry - realised she was pregnant, she moved to London. She got married and then moved back to Derry when she got divorced.” James decided not to mention Kathy’s unannounced return to London.

“What was it like in Derry?”

“Well, it was interesting, I’ll say that!” James responded. “I couldn’t go to the boys’ school out of concern for my safety so I had to attend the girls’ school with my cousin, Michelle. It was tough because people were quite hostile and Michelle wasn’t best pleased to have to look after me but I adjusted. I could have gone back to London but I chose not to.”

“What made you stay?”

“I’d just gotten used to it by then and Michelle literally begged me to stay. She’s an odd one is Michelle - a bit of a bitch but she means well and her heart is in the right place. But I had a bit of a crush on one of her friends - Erin - which was part of the reason I stayed.”

“Oh really? Did you ask Erin out?”

“Eventually, yes. We’ve been together a little over a year now.”

“Wow, sounds like it worked out pretty well.”

“Yeah, it did! Michelle said to me ‘You’re a Derry Girl now, James’ to persuade me to stay. She said it didn’t matter that I was English and a boy. It got me thinking about my dad because I never knew him, but I thought he must be from Derry too, or somewhere nearby at least.”

“Did you never know him?”

“No, until one night I was at Erin’s house - this was before we were together - and Erin’s dad had his new colleague round for dinner, picked up my wallet by mistake and saw a photo of me and mum along with an ID card with my date of birth. He put two and two together and it turned out he’s my dad!”

“Really? That’s crazy!”

“Yeah. It turned out my parents had a brief fling which they had to keep secret because my mum’s a Catholic and my dad’s a Protestant.”

“So, did you get to know your dad then?”

“Yeah, it was quite a surreal experience but we quickly bonded and we’re really close now.”  
“That’s good.” Jason smiled. “My brother said I’d meet people with interesting stories to tell at uni but I didn’t think it would be so soon! Nice photo display, by the way. Lots of different people.”

“Thanks. I’ll show you who everyone is.” James pointed out his family and friends in all of the photos.

“Why are you all wearing American flags in that photo?” Jason asked.

“That was when Bill Clinton came to Derry. Everyone was absolutely ecstatic, as you can imagine!”

“Yeah, I bet. Look, James, do you want to head out later? We’re the first to arrive so we’ll probably have some new flatmates soon.”

“Sure, let’s meet up in about an hour.”

“Sorted.”


	17. Parental Partnership

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rory gets home after dropping James off and has an important call to make.

Rory pulled into his drive and turned off the engine. He got out, emptied the boot and walked into the house, where the children were playing on their Game Boys. He could hear Carol talking on the phone in the kitchen.

“Hi, cubs,” Rory said softly, feeling a little downbeat.

“Hi, Dad,” Glen and Ciara mumbled monotonously.

“I’ve got a small present for you both,” Rory said, at which point his younger children finally put their games consoles down. Rory passed a small wallet to Glen and a notebook to Ciara, both of which were branded with the Stena Line logo.

“Thanks, Daddy,” Ciara said.

“Yeah, thanks to da,” Glen added.

“You’re welcome. Let me hug my wee cubs,” Rory said, placing one arm around Ciara and the other round Glen.

“Are you ok, Daddy?” Ciara asked, a worried look in her ten-year-old eyes.

“Yes, thanks, little cub,” Rory replied with a sigh, “It was just a bit emotional, dropping your brother off at uni.”

“Even though he doesn’t live with us it’ll still be weird not having him around and not seeing him as much,” Glen commented, “I’ll definitely miss him.”

“I’m glad to hear that, big cub,” Rory said, “You know, I’m really glad you’ve bonded with James and made the effort because I appreciate it was such a shock for you both to find out you had an older brother.”

“It’s grand, I’m just glad I didn’t get relegated from big cub to middle cub,” Glen chuckled, “I like having an older brother. It helps to talk to him about growing up and stuff, you know what I mean?”

“I do, Glen, I was a young lad myself once! Uncle Mark helped me with the same sort of things. When he wasn’t teasing me, that was. Of course, Aunt Siobhan just found the whole thing hilarious!” Rory said.

“I’ll miss James too, Daddy,” Ciara said, “He’s so kind and always listens to me, and he’s really good at painting nails. I’ll miss Erin too, and all of the girls.”

“Me too, especially Michelle, she’s so cool!” Glen said.

“Glen Patrick Dolan, are you developing a crush on Michelle?” Rory asked, a large grin forming on his face.

“Of course not, Da! Catch yourself on!” Glen protested, the pitch of his voice rising by an octave.

“He’s definitely got a crush on Michelle, Daddy!” Ciara giggled, “I can see him blushing!”

“I agree, you do sound very defensive, Glen!” Rory laughed, ruffling his son’s hair.

“Hello, Rory, have you just got back?” Carol asked as she entered the room, “Sorry, I was on the phone to the bank for ages!” 

“About ten minutes ago,” Rory answered, “Christ, I’m tired now. I need a cup of tea.” He stood up and headed to the kitchen, with Carol following behind.

“Drop James off ok?” Carol inquired.

“Yeah, it was ok, logistically speaking. A bit harder emotionally speaking, but I’d been gearing myself up for that for ages,” Rory answered.

“How are you feeling?”

“A bit shite, to be honest, but what can you do?”

“Hopefully it’ll get easier with time and remember that Deirdre, Martin, Geraldine, Sean, Mary, Gerry, Joe and Sarah will be feeling the same. In fact, have you spoken to Kathy?”

“Ah shite, I can’t believe I forgot to call her! I’d better do that now.”

“I’ll leave you to it,” Carol said and left the room.

Rory picked up the phone and stared at the keypad. He dialled number beginning with the digits 0171 and gulped as he placed the receiver to his ear. The dial tone eventually gave way to a voice he knew well.

“Hello, it’s Kathy.”

“Kathy, it’s me, Rory.”

“Rory, I do recognise your voice by now!” Kathy laughed. “Nice of you to call.”

“I was just calling to let you know I dropped James off and he seemed ok.”

“Oh Rory Dolan, you’re such a dote for thinking of me!”

“Well, you are his ma!”

“I appreciate you taking him, seriously.”

“Not a problem, I wouldn’t have expected you to schlep all the way to Derry when I live only half an hour away! Are you going up to Manchester to see him?”

“Of course, have you got the number? I thought I should call him first and ask when he’d like me to come.”

“Yes, it starts with zero one six one...I’ve got the rest of it written down in my wallet, hang on one minute.” Rory pulled out a note in his wallet with the number for James’s communal phone and read it out to Kathy. “I sure hope our wee un doesn’t misbehave at university. I know a lot of young people get up to all kinds of shenanigans when they go to uni.”

“Well if there’s any funny business I’ll make sure he has you to answer to! You never got to discipline him so I feel you deserve to if the opportunity arises!”

Rory laughed. “Oh, believe me, Kathy, I’ve given a fair amount of discipline in my time. You have met my other two wee uns, haven’t you? I mean, don’t get me wrong, they’re great but they do have their moments, especially Glen!”

“To be honest I hardly ever had to tell him off as a wee un. You’d think butter wouldn’t melt, seriously. Deirdre and I used to joke that we mixed our wee uns up! I know I was a bit of a shitty mother but I did try to teach him right from wrong.”

“Well as we’ve said before, he turned out well and that’s the main thing. I know he’s got into some silly scrapes but he’s still a good lad at heart.”

“He really is. Don’t forget the main reason he and those girls got into silly scrapes was Michelle! Honestly, I was a bit like her at that age! She’s great though.”

“I agree, Kathy. I’m very fond of Michelle and I feel indebted to her for taking care of James and giving him the tough love he needed to survive Derry.”

“Aye, she’s a brick! Our boy is a man now, Rory. My big handsome boy is now a big handsome man, just like his daddy!”

“Thank you, Kathy!” Rory chuckled. “But he’ll always be our boy and we’ll always be there for him.”

“Absolutely. I think we made a good parental partnership!”

“We sure do, Kathy. So any craic with you?”

“Yeah, I went to Paris for the day the other week on the Eurostar with my friend Lynne. Lovely city but sadly didn’t find a nice handsome Frenchman to sweep me off my feet. I accidentally stumbled on the Pont D’Alma tunnel where Princess Diana was killed and by Christ, it gave me goosebumps. It made me think of those two poor wee uns and I started to well up. I had half a mind to jump on the next flight to Belfast just to give James a big hug! Make sure you tell your wee uns you love them, Rory.”

“I will, don’t you worry Kathy. Look, I’d better go now but good to catch up. Talk to you soon, bye!”

“Bye, Rory.”


	18. A Friend Across the Barricade?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erin makes a friend with whom she has some things in common, but not other things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all
> 
> Sorry it's taken so long to update this fic! Read on...

“Ok, Erin, no funny business!” Mary said sternly, “and make sure you study!”

“Mary, she’s at university now, let her have some fun!” Gerry responded in an attempt to calm his wife down.

“Bye, Mammy and Daddy,” Erin said, tearing up slightly. 

Mary and Gerry said their final goodbyes and drove off. It felt odd to Erin that she had finally left Derry for an extended period of time but she was excited to begin the new chapter of her life in Liverpool. She returned to her accommodation and headed to the kitchen to make a cup of tea, where she heard a voice behind her: “Hello!”

Erin turned around to see a girl of her age looking at her with an enthusiastic smile. She looked a bit like an older version of Ciara. “Hello...erm, did you want a cup of tea?” Erin asked.

“That would be cracker! By Christ I’m knackered!” the girl replied. Erin’s ears pricked up at the girl’s accent, which sounded similar to her own but different.

“Grand, I’ll put the kettle on,” Erin said, and subsequently filled up the kettle with enough water for two cups of tea and turned it on. “My name’s Erin, by the way. Erin Quinn.”

“Nice to meet you, Erin. I’m Sophie Platt,” the girl responded.

“I know it’s a bit...direct, but I couldn’t help but notice your accent,” Erin said, “Are you from Belfast?”

“Close, I’m from Bangor in County Down,” Sophie replied with a smile.

“I’ve never been there,” Erin said, “I know it’s a seaside resort but we’ve always gone to Bundoran or Buncrana because they’re much nearer to where I live.”

“Let me guess...you’re from the Maiden City?” Sophie asked. “I’ve never been there but I know Buncrana’s popular with people from there.”

“That’s right, I’m from Derry, or Londonderry if you’re that way inclined,” Erin said.

“Well theoretically I should call it Londonderry but I’ll call it Derry if you prefer,” Sophie said with a smile. “You know, I’ve never been further west than Coleraine, which I’m a bit embarrassed about, to be honest.”

“To be fair, I didn’t go to Belfast until I was about twelve and I didn’t leave Ireland at all until last year,” Erin said.

“Oh really?” Sophie said, “What attracted you to England then?”

“Well, my da went on a work trip to England because his company has its headquarters in Warrington and I came with him and visited Liverpool and I fell in love with the place. I saw that they had a course in English and Irish Studies and that sold it for me,” Erin explained. “What about you?”

“English and Irish Studies? Sounds like an interesting combination! Far more romantic than biochemistry!” Sophie laughed. “Well, I didn’t want to go to Belfast because I’ve been going there all my life and I wasn’t particularly enamoured by the thought of living in Coleraine because, well, it’s tiny! Although, I was tempted by being able to go to my granny’s in Portrush for Sunday lunch!”

“Have you been to England much before?” Erin asked.

“A fair bit, aye. My parents are the only ones among their siblings to stay in Northern Ireland which is rather funny. I’ve got relatives scattered all over Great Britain, from Aberdeen to Exeter - anyone would think they’re trying to avoid each other!” Sophie answered. “Have you?”

“No, only twice until now but I hope it’s not too much of a culture shock,” Erin replied.

“So, tell me about Derry,” Sophie instructed. “I’ve always wondered what it’s like there.”

“Ok, well let me show you a photo of my friends,” Erin said. She led Sophie into her bedroom and pulled out a large print photograph of the gang on the day of the Clinton visit. Sarah had managed to use her relationship with Ciaran to negotiate a discount. “So this is my little gang. That’s my cousin Orla, who’s like a sister to me. I mean, she has her head in the clouds half the time and her concept of personal boundaries is...well...questionable to non-existent, but she’s a sweet girl and wouldn’t hurt a fly. I miss her more than I thought I would but luckily she’s only half an hour away in Chester so I can see her easily. That’s Clare and she’s the one who always tries and fails to keep us out of trouble. She’s a walking cack attack but we love her for it and her commitment to fairness is second to none. She’s probably on her first protest march as we speak! We wear rainbow pins as a show of solidarity because Clare’s a lesbian.”

“Oh really? That’s so lovely!” Sophie gushed. “What’s the dark-haired girl called? She has a sort of rebellious look about her.”

“That’s Michelle who’s such a mouth she could talk for Ireland! She’s a professional troublemaker and a pathological sex addict but we love her for it and she’s always good craic,” Erin replied.

“Wow, she sounds like a character!” Sophie laughed. “Who’s the fella? He looks kind of cute, like Spike from Press Gang.”

“That’s Michelle’s cousin and my boyfriend James. He’s our resident wee English fella and honorary Derry Girl!” Erin replied.

“He’s English?” Sophie asked with confusion. “How did he end up in Derry?”

“His ma moved to England before he was born and came back to Derry years later when we were about fifteen. He had to go to the girls’ school with us because, well, an English fella at a Catholic boys’ school would be like a lamb to the slaughter,” Erin told Sophie.

“So, did you have to look after him?”. 

“Aye. We weren’t best pleased to begin with and Michelle gave him constant grief but to give James his due, he adapted.” 

“So, how did it happen between you guys? If you don’t mind me asking, of course.”

“Not at all! Well, I initially thought he was a drip and not much to look at when I first met him but I gradually warmed to him and realised he was a pretty decent fella. He was a breath of fresh air compared to the lads in Derry, in retrospect. I think a turning point was the day I got stood up by my prom date and James gave up his Doctor Who night to take me. Granted, my mammy rang him and asked him to but he saved the day and I had such a cracker time. I could relax and be myself and I didn’t have to pretend to be anything else with James because I felt so at ease with him. Seeing him in a tux made me realise he’s actually quite handsome, in his own way.”

“In his own way? He’s gorgeous!”

“His ma was a stunner back in her day - well, she still is now actually - and his da’s a handsome fella so it would be weird if their wee un weren’t a massive ride!”

“So what brought you together?”

“Well, he nearly left Derry to go back to London but luckily Michelle convinced him he was a Derry girl and he stayed. After that, we kind of grew closer and I made more of an effort to show him just how fond of him I was. James also met his da around that time which I think helped him build up the confidence to ask me out.”

“So you snapped up the only boy in your school? Good for you! Sorry, did he not know his da before?”

“No, the reason his ma left Derry is that his da is a Protestant and she was worried about becoming a pariah. Derry’s a very judgemental place - I imagine purgatory to be very similar. But anyway, my da met this fella at work - Rory, his name is - who came round for dinner the same night my friends were over and got chatting to James. My dad noticed they looked quite alike and it turned out there was a good reason for that!”

“Oh my god! That must have been emotional!”

“It was, but they’re really close and they have an amazing relationship. It’s kind of funny how similar they are even though they didn’t know each other for years!”

“You know, it’s kind of funny that I go to uni in England to get out of Northern Ireland and the first person I meet is also from the same part of the world, albeit from across the Glenshane Pass! I’ve never had a Catholic friend before, though, so there’s a first!”

“I’ve never had a Protestant friend before either. We once went on this Friends Across the Barricades trip with the local Protestant boys’ school and it was a total disaster. Michelle was desperate to ride a Protestant lad because, and I quote, ‘they’re not as fucked up about sex as we are’ and was disappointed when the fella she paired up with had a purity ring so she insisted we swapped buddies! There are plenty of silly scrapes we’ve gotten into over the years but I’ll tell you about those at a later date.”

“Oh, tell me about it! We had to go on one of those things with a Catholic school in Downpatrick. My friend Michaela wanted to ‘educate’ the Catholic lads about sex, thinking they’d have too many hang-ups about it to know anything. Let’s just say it didn’t go down well!”

“Oh my, she sounds like the Protestant equivalent of Michelle! I mean, even the names are similar!”

“Well, clearly there’s a lot that unites us. I wonder if people will struggle to understand us here because I once tried to buy flour in a shop in England and the poor wee shop assistant had no idea what I was on about! Was quite funny really.”

“Oh Christ, I’d better not try to bake anything then! I’ve just noticed the welcome talk’s in twenty minutes, shall we head down?”

“Sure.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is partly inspired by this video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZygIEzHqtjQ


	19. The Derry and District Empty Nest Syndrome Support Group

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The parents of the Derry Girls (and the wee English fella) meet up and discuss the recent change in their respective lives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Features Aunt Sarah saying weird things...at least some things remain the same.

The doorbell rang at the Quinn household and Mary opened the front door to find Rory standing on the doorstep holding a large tin in his left hand. “Good evening, Rory, please come in,” Mary said brightly.

Rory stepped over the threshold and followed Mary to the kitchen. “Am I first to arrive?” Rory asked, noticing how quiet the house seemed. He placed the tin, containing a quiche, on the table.

“Aye, it’s always funny when the guests who live further away arrive first!” Mary answered. “Gerry, Rory’s here!”

Gerry trudged down the stairs and into the kitchen, “Hi, Rory,” he said, “Thanks for coming all this way.”

“No bother, nice of you to organise this little soiree,” Rory replied. 

The front door opened and Sarah walked in, looking as if she was about to go for a night out on the town. “Rory, how bout ye?” she asked airily.

“I’m ok thanks, Sarah, you look very...glamorous,” Rory replied, his confusion evident in his voice and facial expression. “Are you going for a night out?”

“No, just taking the opportunity to wear this new fake tan,” Sarah answered. “By Christ, now Orla’s gone I have to apply it myself and it takes ages. Nightmare, so it is, but sure, you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone.”

“Aye,” Rory muttered flatly and looked briefly down at the floor and then towards Mary and Gerry, who flashed him a sympathetic smile, knowing that he had been struggling since James’s departure.

“Mary, here’s the cake,” Sarah said, placing the thin cardboard box on the table.

“Did you bake it yourself, Sarah?” Gerry asked.

“By Christ, Gerry, do you really think I’ve got time for all that baking carry-on? Sure, flour always gets stuck in my nails so it does and I don’t spend good money on manicures only to then ruin them! That bakery on Pump Street is a godsend, so it is,” Sarah answered incredulously, looking at Gerry as though he was stupid. “You fellas don’t understand. Sure, one squirt of aftershave, throw on a pair of well-pressed trousers, a nice shirt and some shoes and job’s a good un.”

“For the love of god!” Mary muttered under her breath.

“Well, Sarah, I’ll take that as a compliment of my fashion sense,” Rory said with a wink.

Sarah continued her speech: “But for us women, it’s a different story altogether. It’s much more of an undertaking for us to look well, sure it’s-”

“A multi-billion pound industry?” Gerry cut in, starting to get exasperated at Sarah’s melodramatic rant. She had clearly spent too long with Erin over the years.

“Aye, dead on!” Sarah confirmed.

The doorbell rang again and Gerry answered it to Sean, Geraldine, Martin and Deirdre, who he led through to the kitchen. Mary and Gerry served drinks and the entire party took a seat in the living room.

“Gerry, are you setting up an empty nest syndrome support group?” Rory asked jokingly.

“It does feel like that, now you mention it,” Geraldine responded.

“We’ll have to elect a committee,” Martin commented.

“And draft a constitution,” Sean added.

“And hold a vote on the constitution,” Gerry added.

“Well, of course, it has to be legitimate,” Deirdre agreed.

“Sure, I find voting a real pain in the arse,” Sarah remarked, drawing odd looks from around the room. “I mean, John knows we all support him no matter what and I tell him as much whenever I ring his office.”

“You ring his office all the time, Sarah,” Mary grumbled, “Sure, I’m surprised he hasn’t appointed you his secretary!” 

“Exactly, Mary, so I don’t know why we need to go to the bother of ticking a box to reaffirm our support every four years when there are better things to be doing with our time,” Sarah added. The other members of the party exchanged an array of looks; Mary was exasperated while Rory was clearly having a hard time suppressing laughter. No one was in the mood to explain how representative democracy worked.

“You know, the house does feel quiet now, even though Clare was never a loud wee un,” Geraldine commented.

“Aye,” Sean agreed, “Now that Clare’s not here to read the newspaper and give a five-minute summary, plus her own analysis and comment, I have to read it myself!”

“I have to say the house feels so empty without my two bickering constantly,” Deirdre commented, then looked at Rory. “Well, when I say my two-”

“Don’t worry, Deirdre, I am more than happy to share my son with you and Martin,” Rory teased.

“Well, sharing is caring after all,” Martin said. “I do miss the entertainment James provides when he fails to ignore Michelle egging him on.”

“I know what you mean,” Rory laughed, “It’s the same story at my house, especially when my brother comes round.”

“I feel the same now that Erin and Orla aren’t here to argue with each other,” Gerry remarked. “It’s unnervingly quiet sometimes.”

“Aye, now da’s moved in with Maeve he argues far less with Gerry,” Sarah added.

“Well, I can’t complain about that!” Mary said. “Anna loves this book called Peace At Last and I’ve never related more to a piece of literature! Though she often asks when the older wee uns are coming back and by Christ, Rory, she pines for your boy all the time!”

“That doesn’t surprise me at all,” Rory said, “I have often joked that James is Annas’s daddy!”

“Now that’s cruel,” Sean said.

“Doesn’t that ever get boring?” Martin asked.

“No, never,” Rory replied, “At least not so far.”

“By Christ, if James did have a wee un then you’d be a granda by the age of forty!” Deirdre laughed.

“Sure, finding out you’ve got a wee un you didn’t know about is enough of a shock by itself!” Martin said.

“An English one too,” Sean added.

“How have you been, Rory?” Geraldine asked. “This is getting like a support group meeting now!”

“A mixture of things really,” Rory responded. “Obviously unlike the rest of you, I don’t have anecdotes of James as a wee un to look back on because didn’t meet him until he was nearly an adult. Well, I do because Kathy was kind enough to send me some but it’s not the same as living through them. It feels kind of cruel that he’s moved away when I’ve hardly known him five minutes but ultimately it’s his life and all I can really want for our wee uns.”

“That was quite profound,” Deirdre said softly. 

“Sorry, I wasn’t thinking about what I was saying!” Rory laughed. “I just miss him so much.” Rory paused, took a sip of his drink and cleared his throat. “On a lighter note, if anyone is missing having wee uns around you can borrow my two younger cubs because it’ll be at least six years before either of them go to college - not that I’m counting!”

“How long for?” Sean asked.

“Yeah, are we talking just for the day or a week, or longer?” Martin inquired.

“As long as is legally allowed!” Rory answered.

“Would you consider adoption?” Deirdre asked.

“If you’re offering then sure!” Rory replied, “You did such a grand job with James so feel to try your magic on Glen and Ciara!”

“Christ, I’m parched so I am,” Sarah interjected suddenly. “I think we all need a drink!”

“I think that’s the most sensible thing you’ve said all evening, Sarah,” Gerry said drily, rolling his eyes.


	20. Reverse Culture Shock

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kathy comes to visit.

James was waiting on the concourse at Manchester Piccadilly station for the train from London Euston. He fixed his gaze on the exit from the platforms and scanned the lines of people for his mother, who eventually appeared, overdressed as usual.

“Hello, Mum.”

“Hello, my big handsome boy!” Kathy squealed as she wrapped her arms around her son and placed a kiss on his cheek, leaving a bright red lipstick mark. The smell of her perfume would no doubt linger for quite a while later.

“Mum, please! Do you have to do this in public?” James whined.

“Yes, love, I do!” Kathy replied sharply, “I want people to know that the big handsome boy is mine!”

“If you insist,” James muttered.

Kathy scanned her son from head to toe and was not impressed to see his hoodie and tracksuit bottoms “James Zachary Maguire, you cannot walk around in public like that!”

“Sorry, Mum. I had my self-defence practice session this morning and then afterwards I went to the library to work on my essay and lost track of time so I didn’t have time to go back and have a shower.”

“Honestly! You need to take your appearance seriously,” Kathy said, “You need to look like the eligible bachelor that you are!”

“What do you mean?” 

“You need to look desirable, like a catch.”

“But I have a girlfriend!” 

“Precisely, all the more reason for you to look like the type of young man who can get a girlfriend, not the desperate sort who’d settle for a quickie in a supermarket toilet.”

“Fair point. Anyway, shall we get some lunch?”

“Only when you’ve had a shower and gotten changed! Sorry to be a domineering mammy but it’s for your own good!”

Realising he was fighting a losing battle, James led his mother back to his accommodation and made her a cup of tea before disappearing into the bathroom. Kathy drank her tea and looked out of the window onto the university campus.

“Now that’s much better!” Kathy said proudly. “Now let’s get some lunch! I haven’t eaten since eight this morning! I want to see where you study as well!”

They walked through the university campus towards the city centre while James pointed out various buildings of note.

“Sorry for this morning, Mum. I should really be more organised!” 

“Not at all, love, you’ve got a busy life with your studies, job and social life, and I shouldn’t have been so quick to tell you off! Sometimes my Irish mammy takes over! I must say, it’s very admirable that you teach self-defence to wee uns in deprived areas!”

“I get paid for it though, Mum.”

“All the same, it’s more altruistic than serving beers to inebriated students! Not that I’m criticising Michelle because I know she’d be a cracker barmaid!”

“She says she gets a lot of tips!”

“Of course she does. Derry girls are very persuasive, as you know. I mean, just ask your father! I’m so glad you’re settling here though. What’s it like being back in England?”

“I think I’m getting reverse culture shock in a way. It feels weird not to have to watch my back as much, or at least not because of my nationality.”

“Do you miss Derry?”

“Yeah, I do actually. I know it’s a troubled place but it’s special, you know what I mean? Michelle says it may be a bit of a dive but it’s our dive and I agree with her. I miss seeing the girls all the time and the weirdness of the place and I really miss Dad.” James looked down at the ground with a melancholic look in his eyes.

Kathy hugged her son and kissed his forehead. “Oh darling, of course you miss your daddy! That’s normal! He thinks the world of you and I know you think the same about him and I’m thrilled that you’re so close! In a way, it gives me a sense of redemption, even if I perhaps don’t deserve it. Why don’t you give him a call when I’ve gone home tomorrow? I bet he’d love to hear from you!”

“Yeah, I’ll do that. Sorry to be a bit down. It’s just that homesickness gets to me sometimes.”

“No problem at all love! Anyway, are you seeing your little crowd of admirers soon?”

“Mum, I really wish you wouldn’t refer to the girls like that! I’ve only got eyes for Erin! But yes, we’re meeting up in a couple of weeks for a curry. Dale and Richard are coming too.”

“That’s lovely to hear, sweetie. Anyway, I’m starving. Let’s find a place to eat!”


	21. The Reunion of the Derry Girls and the Wee English Fellas, Part One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang meet up and a rather smutty conversation entails...

James was working on his essay one morning when he heard a knock at his door. “James, someone’s here to see you,” Jason said.

“Really? I’m not expecting a visitor!” James replied.

“Well, you’ve got one!”

James opened the door and was met by Erin, who flung her arms around him and yelled, “My wee English fella!”

“Erin, I wasn’t expecting you here this soon!” James laughed.

“Is this the greeting I get?” Erin scoffed. “Well, it’s nice to know romance isn’t dead! James Maguire, I’m going to write to your daddy and tell him he needs to teach you how to treat a girl right!”

No, I didn’t mean it-” James protested.

“I know, I know!” Erin cut in in fits of laughter. “See, Jason, this is how easy it is to wind him up and it’s such good craic! Oh, James, you’re so adorable when you get defensive like that! I’m just so buzzing to see my handsome English prince again!”

“Likewise, I’m delighted to see my Gaelic princess again,” James said with a dopey smile.

“See, that’s more like it!” Erin shrilled. “I won’t need to tell your daddy now! Well, I will because I know it will amuse him!” Erin winked, then stood on her tip-toes to kiss James on the cheek. “James can’t escape being teased, poor fella. I don’t know who’s worse out of me, his cousin or his da!”

“I can’t decide,” James muttered drily.

“It’s nice to meet you, Erin,” Jason said, “James has told me a lot about you and your various...shenanigans.”

“Aye, shenanigans!” Erin laughed, “Did James tell you about the time he tried to act all laddish to impress these Protestant boys?”

“No, he didn’t actually,” Jason replied.

“I love beer, don’t you just love beer?” Erin said in a voice that bore little resemblance to James’s real one.

Jason laughed. “Well, I’ll leave you guys to it, but I’ll see you around.”

James and Erin went into James’s room and sat down on the bed. “It’s nice of you to surprise me like this,” James said shyly.

“Well, I just thought it would be nice to have some quality time together before we meet our friends,” Erin said.

“Do you want to take a stroll, get some exercise?” James suggested.

“We could, but I had another form of activity in mind,” Erin responded with a wink. 

“I presume you don’t mean discussing poetry.”

“James, I incorporate poetry into everything I do. Even washing up.”

“Well let’s get a move on so we’re not late meeting our friends.”

“Now you’re talking!”

Two hours later, James and Erin power-walked into the station where Dale, Richard and Michelle were already waiting.

“What time do you call this?” Richard asked, feigning outrage at James and Erin’s minor unpunctuality. “Shocking, isn’t it?”

“Aye, it’s appalling!” Michelle agreed, tutting with mock disapproval.

“Maybe they were busy,” Dale said in an attempt to be helpful.

“Yeah, we were just...catching up,” Erin said quietly.

“Catching up?” Michelle laughed, “Is that what you call it now?”

“Yeah, we were just catching up!” James responded defensively.

“I must say, they do look rather sheepish,” Richard said with a knowing look.

“We just lost track of time!” James protested with an incriminatingly high-pitched voice.

“Yeah, I mean who has time for physical activity on a Saturday morning?” Erin scoffed. “Apart from athletes, of course.”

“Are you ok, Richard?” Dale asked, noticing Richard rubbing his lower back while screwing up his eyes.

“You look like you’re in pain,” James commented.

“I’m fine, I’ve just been to the gym a lot lately and I’m exercising muscles I’m not so used to using!” Richard said while still appearing to be in a state of discomfort.

“Big Dicky can’t always keep up with me but he’s learning!” Michelle added. “Kiss me, Big Dicky!” 

“Certainly, Dolores!” Richard replied and kissed Michelle quickly and intimately.

“Dolores?” Dale said with a confused expression.

“Yeah, like Dolores O’Riordan,” Richard said.

“Dolores isn’t an Irish name - it’s Spanish actually - but it means pain, which is class,” Michelle added.

“Michelle sure knows how to inflict pain, but only the good kind,” Richard said.

“Right…” Erin said, her voice trailing off.

“Richard, does Michelle often call you Big Dicky?” James asked.

“Yeah but I don’t mind because my name is Richard after all,” Richard answered.

“That’s not the only reason,” Michelle added with a suggestive smirk.

“No explanation needed!” Erin piped up quickly.

“Erin, did you really think I was going to go further?” Michelle asked.

“Well, yes! You’ve got form in that area, Michelle! Erin responded.

“She’s got excellent form in many areas,” Richard said cheekily as he stood behind Michelle and placed his hands on her waist.

“When are Orla and Clare getting here?” Dale asked.

“They’re here now! I can see them!” Erin replied, relief evident in her voice.

“Thank God,” James mumbled.


	22. The Reunion of the Derry Girls and the Wee English Fellas, Part Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Orla and Clare arrive and the gang head to a restaurant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've not said this for a while, so thanks to thenewwriter for his contributions to this chapter! Please check out his amazing works on the site :)

Clare and Orla joined the group, who then headed to the restaurant where James had booked the table and waited by the entrance as instructed by the sign.

“Hello,” James said to the waiter when he appeared, “table for seven at one o’clock for James Maguire.”

“Certainly, please follow me,” the waiter replied and the seven young people followed him.

“Look at my wee English fella being all official,” Erin simpered.

“Erin, all I did was confirm details of the reservation!” James laughed.

“Yes, but you were so masterful and dominant,” Erin whispered.

“Erin, stop getting randy in public, it’s mingin!” Michelle scowled.

“That’s rich coming from you, Michelle!” Erin scoffed.

“Erin, I’m allowed to be randy in public because Big Dickie and I have got moves so we don’t look like dorks when displaying affection in public!” Michelle retorted. “Kiss me, Big Dickie!” Richard happily complied.

“Although, there’s nothing wrong with being dorky, James,” Richard added, “I mean, the way you attempted to flirt with Stella Waterhouse at the school disco in Year Nine was adorable and hilarious. Do you remember that, Dale?”

“No comment!” Dale answered.

“Richard, please never tell Michelle about that!” James pleaded.

“He already has done, dicko!” Michelle responded with a smirk.

“I tried to stop them, James, but you know how Richard loves telling stories like that!” Dale chipped in.

“Richard, what else have you told Michelle?” James huffed.

“A gentleman never tells,” Richard replied, tapping his nose with a cheeky wink.

“Dale, were Richard and Michelle snogging during the entire journey from Leeds?” Erin asked.

“Pretty much,” Dale answered, “But in fairness it gave me time to check my essay.”

“Such a swot,” Richard said sarcastically.

“Guys, can we please stop bickering!” Clare squealed. “We hardly see each other and we need to make the best of our time together!”

“Clare, we always bickered before so just be glad that some things haven’t changed,” James said encouragingly.

“Aye, don’t stop bickering on my account, it’s cracker!” Orla interjected randomly after a long silence. James was right that some things hadn’t changed.

“You think it’s cracker?” Dale said with confusion.

“Aye, it’s been my main source of entertainment for years, Dale,” Orla confirmed. “That and reading Erin’s diary. The reason I don’t talk much is that I enjoy listening to other people.”

“Right,” Dale said, his voice trailing off, every but as puzzled as before.

The gang sat down and looked through their menus.

“I really fancy some chips!” Orla said excitedly.

“Orla, this is an Indian restaurant, not a chippy!” Erin pointed out irritably.

“You can order a curry with chips on the side, Orla,” Richard said.

“You boys must think Irish people are obsessed with chips and potato products!” Clare said slightly anxiously.

“No, of course not!” Dale laughed.

“Stereotyping isn’t cool, as Dale has said to me countless times!” Richard added.

“It is true of Derry, to be fair,” James said.

“Aye, I can’t deny that,” Erin added.

“Me neither,” Michelle said.

“Nor me,” Orla said.

“Nor me,” Clare confirmed.

“So, are you having a korma, James?” Dales asked.

“No, I think I’ll be brave and go for a lamb rogan josh,” James replied.

“My handsome fella can handle his spices,” Erin said proudly, rubbing her hand on James’s back and kissing his cheek.

“I know I enjoy a bit of spice,” Richard said playfully.

“Which I have in abundance,” Michelle added suggestively.

“Aye, the Spice Girls are cracker, so they are, Richard,” Orla mumbled. “Who’s your favourite?”

“Scary, definitely,” Richard replied, flashing a wink at Michelle and following up with a kiss.

“Richard’s always had a thing for feisty women,” Dale explained.

“You don’t say,” Erin mumbled.


	23. The Reunion of the Derry Girls and the Wee English Fellas, Part Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The craic continues...

The gang ordered their meals and the waiter headed off to the kitchen carrying the menus with him.

“So, what’s the craic?” Erin asked, looking around at her fellow Derry natives and the three English boys. “Met any other lesbians, Clare?”

“Erin, what kind of question is that?” Michelle scoffed.

“To be fair, Michelle, Clare’s always got an eye out for fellow lesbians,” Orla mumbled. “Sure, her inbuilt lesbian detector’s probably gone into overdrive.”

James smiled, Richard sniggered while Dale just narrowed his eyes in confusion. He still wasn’t yet used to the girls’ peculiarities, whereas James had long grown accustomed to them and Richard complemented them with his own quirks.

“As a matter of fact, I’ve met quite a lot of people from the LGB community and it’s brilliant to meet people who’ve gone through the same thing as me!” Clare responded defiantly to Erin’s original question. “I’m actually going to an Stonewall conference in Birmingham next spring and I can’t wait!”

“You’re going to the conference?” Dale piped up suddenly.

“Yes,” Clare answered as her voice slowed down. “Why, are you?”

“Yeah, what a weird coincidence….” Dale replied, his voice trailing off. “Though James did say you were quite politically engaged. Perhaps we’ll have to go together.”

“That would be lovely,” Clare said with a smile, which Dale returned.

“Dale, are you…” Erin began.

“Just say it, Erin!” Michelle huffed.

“Bisexual, yes,” Dale answered.

“Bisexual?” Clare repeated with a slightly inappropriate hint of excitement in her eyes.

“Aye, do you really enjoy bicycles?” Orla asked inquisitively.

“Sorry?” Dale said, confused by Orla as ever.

“Just disregard that,” Erin said.

“But bicycles are so cracker!” Orla insisted.

“Don’t ever change, Orla,” James said with a smile.

“Yeah, please don’t,” Richard added in agreement.

“So, you like fellas and girls?” Erin asked.

“Well, yeah, that is the basic definition,” Dale replied.

“An entry-level requirement, you could say,” Clare chuckled. 

“James, Richard, did you know this?” Erin asked. “Sorry, Dale, I don’t mean to talk about you as though you’re not here.”

“No worries,” Dale said nonchalantly.

“Yeah, of course,” Richard answered.

“Since when?” Michelle asked.

“Since we were fourteen,” James replied.

“That’s right,” Dale confirmed.

“He was quite the celebrity in our year,” Richard said.

“Boys, I need to give you both something,” Clare said suddenly. She took out a small pouch from her handbag, opened it, and passed a rainbow pin each to Dale and Richard. “Dale, as members of the LGB community, we need to show solidarity!”

“Fully on board with you there,” Dale said happily.

“Same here,” Richard added.

“So, how’s uni going?” Dale asked.

“It’s great,” Erin replied, “Though my tutors keep telling me not to dominate seminars too much and let other students have a say but no one seems to share my enthusiasm.”

“Richard, did you get that job at the pub?” James asked.

“Yeah, it’s great! Michelle got a job there too!” Richard replied.

“It is so class!” Michelle beamed. “Though it’s so painful being surrounded by alcohol I’m not allowed to drink!”

“Not being allowed to drink never stopped you before, Michelle!” Erin said with derision.

“Yes, but now I have a job and a source of income which I need,” Michelle reasoned.

James and the three girls looked at Michelle incredulously, gobsmacked that she seemed to have the foresight to consider the consequences of her actions.

“The landlady loves to put us on the same shift,” Richard said. “She says the customers love us. The blokes love Michelle’s banter and women of all ages can’t resist buying a second round after being on the receiving end of my charm offensive.”

“We’re the dynamic duo,” Michelle said.

“In more ways than one,” Richard replied with a smirk, prompting mutters and eye-rolls from everyone except Orla, who just smiled vacantly.

“Are you still doing step aerobics, Orla?” James asked.

“Aye, of course,” Orla answered, “It gives me creative energy which is vital when you’re studying art. My tutors say I’m a genius, particularly my animal pictures.”

“Good for you,” Dale said, “that’s brilliant.”

“Yeah, it really is,” Erin added, feeling jealous that Orla’s talent had been recognised when hers hadn’t.

“So, how’s England treating you?” Richard asked.

“Cracker,” Orla answered, “I met a fella who’s from a place called Cromwell!”

Dale stared at Orla in disbelief when Erin snapped him out of his trance. “Don’t ask!”

“I’m glad I moved here because Leeds is full of rides to ogle at,” Michelle said.

“Michelle, you can’t do that! You’ve got a fella!” Clare hissed.

“I don’t mind if it builds up energy to release later on,” Richard said cheekily.

“Honestly,” James muttered.

“I miss Derry a bit,” Erin said, “It felt so surreal meeting people from places I’d never heard of. Though the first person I met was a girl from Bangor.”

“In Wales?” Dale asked.

“No, it’s a place near Belfast but the next person I met was a fella from Bangor in Wales,” Erin answered. “And one girl told me she was from Chipping Sodbury which I’m still not convinced is a place.”

“I’ve got relatives there,” Richard said nonchalantly, flashing a wink at Michelle. Erin froze in embarrassment.

“Are you missing Derry, James?” Clare asked. “You know, given you’re a Derry girl.”

“Yeah of course,” James replied. “It’s weird because in one way moving to a new place prepared me well but it also means I miss two places and not one. I still miss London and my previous life there but I miss everyone I’ve met in Derry. Well most people anyway. It was just my luck to meet my dad there a year and a half before leaving.” The rest of the gang remained silent.

“Oh look, that’s our order!” Orla piped up.


	24. The Return of the Prodigal Wee Uns, Part One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang return home for Christmas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So after a short break from this fic, I'm back!

It was a little under two weeks before Christmas and Mary, Gerry, Sarah, Joe, Rory, Geraldine and Deirdre were at the local airport awaiting the arrival of Ulster Airways flight 3050 from Manchester and with it the return of their respective offspring.

“The flight landed five minutes ago and the wee uns still aren’t here!” Mary shrilled with agitation.

“Relax, Mary,” Gerry said calmly, “It can sometimes take a while to get through at airports. Or so I’ve heard.”

“Are you trying to deny my Mary the right to be concerned about the wee uns?” Joe snapped melodramatically. “For all we know they could be getting interrogated by the Brits for no good reason and you don’t give a shit!”

“Da! Don’t make a scene!” Mary hissed. “We don’t want you getting arrested!” Gerry looked up at the high ceiling of the airport concourse and wished, rather sadistically, for one night of peace with Joe detained in a police station.

“They’ll be at the baggage carousel,” Rory, ever the voice of reason, interjected. “Hopefully it shouldn’t take too long at a small airport like this one.” He decided not to mention the time he had to wait an hour and a half at the baggage reclaim in Barcelona two years before.

“Aye, sure Orla enjoys a good carousel so she does,” Aunt Sarah mumbled vacantly.

The other adults remained silent and exchanged an eye roll.

“I’ve told Michelle to behave herself at the airport!” Deirdre said sternly. “I find out she’s flashed her breasts to the security staff then...well let’s just say I’ll be reclaiming my wooden spoon from Mary.”

“Good luck with that Deirdre because sure Mary’s gotten very attached to that spoon so she has,” Sarah said.

“Da, do we have to hold this for much longer?” Glen whined.

“Probably not, Glen, but please be patient! This is our way of welcoming your brother and girls back home for Christmas,” Rory sighed, trying not to lose his temper with his younger son.

“I worked hard on this banner, Glen!” Ciara pointed out as authoritatively as a ten-year-old girl could sound.

“Rory, won’t James find it a bit embarrassing?” Geraldine asked

“Maybe, but that’s no reason not to do it,” Rory answered, “I’m sure he’ll appreciate the gesture as will your girls.”

Meanwhile, the four local girls and their accompanying wee English fella were making their way from the baggage reclaim to the exit.

“Nothing to declare?” Michelle said quizzically, observing the sign on the wall, “Do I need to declare my baps because they are some fine goods if you know what I mean.”

“Yes, Michelle, we know what you mean!” James muttered.

“Ok, James, don’t get your thong in a twist!” Michelle snapped. 

“Michelle, please!” Clare squealed!

“Orla, a baggage carousel is not a fairground ride!” Erin hissed.

“But it was so cracker!” Orla protested.

“I’m not sure that security guard agreed!” Clare pointed out.

“Well, at least he believed that story about Orla drinking too much cola!” Michelle muttered.

“Ok, let’s try to find our families,” James said as they entered the main concourse.

“I see them!” Orla yelled with excitement and pointed to the group of parents.

The five returning students stood still as they took in the site of a large colourful banner that read “Welcome Home” in bubble writing.

“I almost feel like a celebrity,” Michelle said proudly.

“Well, you’re certainly infamous for many reasons!” Clare responded drily.

“That banner is impressive,” Erin commented.

“That will be Ciara’s doing,” James said. The gang began walking towards their entourage while James exchanged a grateful smile with his younger sister.


	25. The Return of the Prodigal Wee Uns, Part Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas everyone!
> 
> Just a quick chapter which is basically a continuation of the last one.

“Ok, wee uns, you can let go of the banner now,” Rory told his two younger children as James approached and the four girls greeted their respective parents.

“Finally,” Glen huffed.

“Hi Dad,” James said happily.

“Hi James,” Rory replied, placing an arm around James, “You’re back from your adventures. For now anyway!”

“Well, adventures are exhausting!” James laughed. “I see you brought the two troublemakers along!”

“Bit harsh to call your sister a troublemaker but where your brother’s concerned, I can’t disagree!” Rory chuckled.

James bent down to hug his two siblings. “Was the banner your idea, Ciara?” he asked.

“Yes,” the ten-year-old girl answered confidently. “I spent two hours making it!”

“Well, it’s very impressive!” James said sincerely.

“Thank you!” Ciara replied brightly, “Glen wasn’t too pleased about having to hold it!”

“Hey!” Glen protested.

“It’s ok, Glen, you don’t have to defend yourself,” James laughed.

“Hi, Rory!” Erin beamed happily when she appeared. 

“Hi, Erin, love,” responded as he hugged his son’s girlfriend, “I must say I’m flattered that you chose to greet an old git like me!”

“Oh Rory, you’re my favourite Prod and my second favourite Brit after James!” Erin giggled. “Oh sorry, I shouldn’t call you a Brit!”

“Why not, it practically says so on my passport!” Rory laughed. He turned to face James, “Anyway, have you forgotten how to shave, son?” he asked facetiously with reference to James’s stubble-covered face.

“No, I just keep forgetting for some reason. And you’ve got much heavier stubble than me!” James protested.

“I know son, but I can pull it off better than you and I can tease you about it because I’m your father!” Rory responded with a smirk. He turned towards Mary who had just appeared next to him. “Honestly, Mary, what am I gonna do with this lad?”

“He’s looking a bit thin I’d say, Rory,” Mary answered, “I hope you’re eating properly, love!”

“Yeah, just high metabolism!” James said nervously.

“I hope that’s true, son, or else you’ll have me, your ma and your aunt to answer to!” Rory said, feigning strictness for comic effect.

“I hope you’re attending your lectures, James!” Mary said with genuine strictness. “I tried to find out from the university if Erin was attending hers and they wouldn’t tell me. Spouted some nonsense about data protection laws!”

“That’s England for you, they love bureaucracy!” Rory laughed.

“Where’s Anna?” James asked.

“I can’t believe it took you this long to ask about the whereabouts of your wee un!” Rory uttered in mock disapproval.

“Not that joke again!” James grumbled.

“She’s at a friend’s,” Mary explained. “We figured that a four-year-old wee un would get bored quickly.”

“It didn’t take Glen long to get bored and he’s three times that age!” Rory remarked, “Speaking of which, where is he?”

“He’s talking to Michelle,” James answered, “I swear he has a sort of weird crush on her!”

“Both my boys fancying Derry Girls...must get it from me!” Rory said.

Later that evening, James woke up following a short-post dinner nap and encountered Rory in the kitchen, who immediately broke into a smile. 

“You look happy, Dad,” James observed.

“Of course I am, son, I’ve got my wee English cub back!” Rory replied happily. “I’ve missed you a lot, you know.”

“I’ve missed you too, Dad.”

“If you’re not too tired we can go for a pint or two,” Rory suggested.

“That would be lovely.”

“Great.” Rory paused. “I’m glad university hasn’t made you think you’re too cool to go for a drink with your old man!”

“I could never think that,” James said with a smile. “I’ll get the first round.”

“My boy is back and he’s buying me a drink! This day gets better and better!” They both laughed and then headed out to the pub.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the next chapter, I will most likely skip several months and will probably do that for the rest of the fic as I want to complete it fairly soon.


	26. The Rogue Appendix, Part One: A Public Collapse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kathy takes James out for a meal to celebrate his academic achievements, but it doesn't entirely go to plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick note: I've jumped forward by about six months to the end of the girls' (and James's too of course!) first year of university.

“Well, once again, congratulations on finishing your first year with a first!” Kathy gushed as she and James sat down at a table in one of her favourite local restaurants, “Clever, handsome, charming...is there anything my big handsome boy hasn’t got?”

“Thank you, Mum, but do you really have to say it so loudly? We’re in a public place!” James responded self-consciously.

“Well, all the more reason to say it loudly!” Kathy said, not modifying the volume of her voice. “I can see it. You’ll be driving a Mercedes, living in a big house and having all the women falling at your feet!”

“Mum, please! I already have a girlfriend! Please don’t put too much pressure on me!”

“Sorry, love, just got a bit carried away! No, you’ll live the life you want and if you need any help or guidance from me or your father, you’ll ask. Speaking of whom, I should have invited him along tonight to celebrate!”

“London’s a bit far to come for one evening! We couldn’t expect him to come over at the drop of a hat!”

“Very true, love, very true. Maybe he’ll treat you when you’re back in Derry.”

“Do you come to this restaurant often?”

“I haven’t been here for a while but the food is excellent! I’m so lucky to have you to stay for a little while!”

“Well, you are my mum.”

“True, but you’re in such high demand! Everyone wants to spend time with you! Auntie Deirdre, your father, Mary and Gerry, not to mention your little gang of girls! I hope you’re hungry, love, because the food here, as I said, is amazing!”

“Yes, I think that’s why I’ve got a bit of a stomach ache. Let me just go to the toilet.”

James stood up and headed towards the toilet while Kathy studied the menu. When she looked up, James was hobbling awkwardly back towards the table, clutching his right-hand side tenderly. “James, love, are you ok?” Kathy asked, feeling slightly alarmed.

“It’s worse now,” James moaned, “It’s really painful to walk!”

“Oh shit, I don’t know what to do!”

“Aargh! Sorry to shout, but this is really painful!” James yelled, before collapsing onto the floor.

“James!” Kathy yelled. “Somebody, please help!”

A young woman in her early thirties rushed over to Kathy. “My name’s Denise and I’m a doctor,” the woman said.

“I’m Kathy and this is James. Please help him!” Kathy pleaded desperately.

“Ok, James, where is it hurting?” Denise asked James gently.

“On my right-hand side mainly,” James whimpered, “It’s agony!”

“We need to get him to the hospital,” Denise said to Kathy. “I’ll call 999.”


	27. The Rogue Appendix, Part Two: London Calling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Struggling to sleep, Carol heads downstairs and gets an unexpected phone call.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another, somewhat longer chapter for you! I quite enjoy writing longer story arcs so I hope you enjoy reading them!

Carol lay awake in bed, staring at the ceiling as the rain fell loudly outside. She was always susceptible to waking up when it rained. She glanced at the digital clock on the bedside table: it was 05:30 AM. She rolled over and looked enviously at Rory, who was so deep in slumber that he would probably sleep through an earthquake, not that they were especially common in Limavady. Admitting defeat, she climbed out of bed, picked up her reading glasses and her copy of Harry Potter and Philosopher’s Stone - a recommendation from Orla - before putting on her dressing gown and slippers and walking downstairs to the lounge. She had barely sat down in her favourite armchair when the phone rang.

Carol froze. A phone call at this time of day was rarely a good sign. She tentatively sauntered over to the phone cradle and reluctantly picked up the handset. “Hello,” she said quietly.

“Carol, it’s me.” Carol instantly recognised the voice as belonging to Kathy, a woman of whom she was not especially fond but with whom she had to be civil in the interests of her family. To give Kathy her due, she had apologised profusely to James and Rory and shown genuine remorse for some of her past decisions. In any case, what happened twenty years ago was not Carol’s battle to fight.

“Kathy…” Carol said, her voice trailing off, “Are you ok? Is something wrong?”

“Well, not exactly,” Kathy answered, panic evident in her voice, “Look, I’m sorry to call at this time but I really need to talk to Rory. Can you put him on?”

“Of course, I’ll just need to wake him up.”

Carol headed upstairs and into her bedroom. She gently shook Rory’s shoulders, but he did not respond. She tried again but Rory simply let out an animalistic groan as his eyes remained firmly shut.

“Sorry, Kathy, he’s such a heavy sleeper I’m having a hard time waking him up.”

“Really? He was like that twenty years ago!” 

The two women chuckled then Carol resumed her mission. “Rory!” she called. But again, he did not awake and merely rolled over onto his right-hand side. Carol turned on the ceiling light and began to shake Rory’s shoulder more vigorously, at which he finally emerged from his near-comatose state.

“Fuck, that’s bright!” he moaned, screwing up his eyes. Carol turned off the ceiling light. “What’s the matter?

“It’s Kathy on the phone,” Carol answered, and passed the phone to Rory.

“Kathy, what’s wrong?” Rory asked, feeling a rising sense of trepidation.

“It’s James,” she sobbed. “We were at a restaurant last night when he started to experience abdominal pains. I took him to hospital and it turns out his appendix has burst!”

“Jesus Christ!” Rory gasped.

“I know!” Kathy said weakly. “He’s not long come out of surgery and he’s gonna be fine but by Christ, it was scary. I know it’s a lot to ask but can you come here? He needs you!”

“Of course!” Rory replied emphatically. “Have you told Deirdre?” 

“Not yet, but she’s my next person to call,” Kathy said.

“I’ll call her and explain,” Rory said. “I’ll get there as soon as I can.”

Kathy told Rory the address of the hospital and details of the nearest station. Rory explained that he would buy a street atlas when he got to London.

“Fucking hell!” Rory sighed as his body trembled. “My wee English cub is in hospital having been treated for a life-threatening condition. I need to get there quickly!” Rory breathed in and out, almost hyperventilating.

“Rory, I know you’re upset but you need to try to remain calm,” Carol said. “We need to tell Deirdre. She’ll want to know and I suspect the girls - or some of them at least - will want to come to London with you.”

“You’re right…” Rory muttered, looking down at his feet and rubbing his brow.

“How about you go for a shower and pack a bag while I call Deirdre?” Carol suggested.

Rory said nothing, nodded, hurried upstairs into the bathroom and jumped into the shower. He ran the shampoo through his crown curly hair, which James had inherited from him, and pictured the harrowing spectacle of James lying in a hospital bed, hooked up to an IV drip, with Kathy sitting anxiously in a chair beside him. He got dressed, stuffed some clothes in a small rucksack and headed downstairs.

“Ok, I’ve spoken to Deirdre and Michelle wants to come with you. She’s going to call Mary and Gerry know because Erin will probably want to come too,” Carol said.

“Of course, Erin will want to come with me!” Rory said, “Why didn’t I think of that?” He huffed in frustration.

“Don’t beat yourself up, Rory, you’re upset and stressed! I’ve made some coffee if you want some. I’ll have a shower in case I need to drive you anywhere,” Carol responded.

“I can drive myself!” Rory insisted.

“No, you are in no fit state to drive!” Carol responded forcefully. “Just wait for Marry or Gerry to ring you and call them if you don’t hear anything in the next ten minutes!”

“Ok,” Rory sighed, knowing Carol was completely right. He drank a cup of coffee, made some toast and had just finished his second slice when the phone rang.

“Hello, it’s Rory,” Rory stammered, still on edge.

“Rory, hello.” It was Gerry. “Deirdre rang us. Joe’s on his way to yours now with Michelle and Erin. He’s going to take you to Aldergrove as there are more flights to London from there than Derry.”

“Really? But Limavady’s a bit of a detour from Derry to Aldergrove!”

“I know. I suggested that Carol dropped you off in Dungiven but Joe insisted on picking you up. To be honest, I think he rather enjoys playing the hero in a crisis. Be ready to go soon though. He only left about fifteen minutes ago and he’s probably already at Greysteel!” Gerry explained.

“I’d better get a move on then!” Rory chuckled.

“Say hello to James for us and wish him a speedy recovery,” Gerry said. 

“Thank you,” Rory sniffed, then put the phone down.

Fifteen minutes later, the headlights of a familiar car appeared on the drive. 

“My carriage awaits,” Rory said. “Can you explain to Glen and Ciara? And let Mark and Siobhan know too.”

“Of course,” Carol responded. She kissed Rory briefly before he hurriedly left the house.

Erin emerged from the passenger door and climbed into the back seat of the car. Joe got out and opened the boot. “Put your bag in there, let’s talk in the car,” he instructed. Rory followed the instructions, then climbed into the passenger seat.

“It’s not one hundred and six miles to Chicago, though we do have a full tank of petrol, it’s not especially dark and we’re not wearing sunglasses, but I’m gonna hit it!” Joe said commandingly before he released the handbrake and set off.

“Thanks so much for taking us, Joe,” Rory said.

“Anytime,” Joe responded.

Rory turned around to see Michelle and Erin on the backseat, both looking somewhat distressed and subdued. “Thank you for coming with me girls, I appreciate it,” he said.

“I have to see my wee English fella! He needs me!” Erin said somewhat hysterically.

“James is practically my brother! I can’t just stand by when he’s in hospital on the other side of the sea!” Michelle added, sounding somewhat more measured than Erin, not that that was a difficult achievement.

“How are you, Rory? Erin asked.

“Well, it’s been a funny old day so far but I know James is safe and that’s the main thing. If we can get on a flight before nine then we should get to him by around midday,” Rory replied.

“Well, Joe will get us to the airport in no time!” Michelle said.

“Yeah, I can see that all right!” Rory remarked.

“I’ve had my licence for nearly fifty years, boy, and I know exactly what speed I can take each corner at! I can drive this road with my eyes closed.” Joe said fiercely.

“Ok, but please don’t try!” Rory pleaded anxiously.

After five minutes, Joe checked his rear view mirror and noticed the two girls on the backseat were asleep. “It really knocked us for six when we got the call,” he said as he floored the accelerator on a particularly steep section of the Glenshane Pass. “I’ve not seen my family so distressed for a long time. By Christ, my Mary must have made the sign of the cross about four times!”

“Well, we know what troublemakers the English are!” Rory joked. “But seriously, I was absolutely beside myself. It just came out of the blue, so suddenly.”

“Our Erin’s head over heels for the wee lad, you know,” Joe told Rory.

Rory smiled. “I can assure you the feelings are entirely mutual!” he said.

“I told him he’ll make an honest woman of our Erin one day,” Joe said sternly.

“Well, you have my full agreement there, Joe,” Rory chuckled, “But they’re still so young, so don’t pressure them too much. I have to say I’m glad you think so highly of my son.”

“Of course I do! He’s a fine young fella is your boy and a credit to you! I hope he gets well soon, and not just so he can marry Erin!”

“That’s as good a reason as any to be fair!” Rory laughed, grateful to be cheered up, which he would never have normally expected from Joe. He smiled and looked out of the window as he reminded himself why he was so lucky to call James his son.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think :)


	28. The Rogue Appendix, Part Three: Touching Down in London Town

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rory, Michelle and Erin arrive in London.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The story arc continues...

By some stroke of luck, Rory, Michelle and Erin were able to get a last-minute deal on a flight to Gatwick, leaving in ninety minutes. The trio hurried through security and played cards in the departure lounge. When their flight was called, they walked briskly to the gate as though every second counted, even if it would have no impact on their arrival time in London. Not that it mattered; they were all desperate to see James, and that was the overriding emotion.

The cabin crew delivered the safety routine, the seatbelt lights went on and before long, the plane was taking off.

“We’re going to London, girls!” Rory said enthusiastically.

Erin placed her hands together and closed her eyes. “Dear Lord, tell James that I love him and I'm on my way,” she said before opening her eyes and placing her hands in her lap.

A little over an hour later, the wheels of the plane made contact with the runway of Gatwick and ten minutes later, they were in the arrivals area. Rory bought an A to Z from WH Smith then returned to the girls, who were waiting outside.

“Ok, girls, I’ve figured out the route so let’s go!” Rory said authoritatively, pointing towards the railway station where a train bound for Victoria station was due in five minutes.

One hour and a quarter later, the tired and weary travellers finally reached the hospital and headed straight to the reception. “Good afternoon, we’re here to see my son. His name’s James Zachary Maguire and his date of birth is twelfth March 1979,” Rory informed the receptionist, a young man in his early twenties.

“Just one moment please,” the receptionist responded and then turned to his computer. “He’s on Ward A37. Head down this corridor and take the stairs on the right. When you reach the first floor, turn left and it’s the third door on your right.”

“Thank you, sir,” Rory responded. Just like at the airport, he - along with Michelle and Erin - walked quickly in the directions given by the receptionist. When they reached the corridor, a door signed as the ladies’ toilets opened on the left and out stepped a woman with instantly recognisable eyebrows that Rory knew all too well. The three visitors stopped in their tracks.

“Rory Dolan, I don’t think I’ve ever been so relieved to see you!” Kathy cried, throwing her arms around Rory and kissing his cheek with a surprising amount of passion considering that they had not been a couple for twenty years. Kathy broke away and looked at her niece and the girlfriend of her son. “Michelle, Erin, I can’t say how glad I am to see you and I know James will be too! Thank you all for getting here so quickly, it’s been absolute torture!”

“Can we see James?” Erin asked tentatively.

“Of course, come with me,” Kathy replied. She led Rory, Erin and Michelle onto the ward and to a side room, where James lay unconscious in a bed. He was breathing normally but his left arm was hooked up to an IV drip, which was entirely consistent with what Rory has pictured in his mind earlier that day.

“James!” Erin sobbed, “Wake up! Wake up! I love you! Please, wake up!”

“Shh,” Kathy said calmly, “He’s had surgery and needs rest!” Michelle placed her arm supportively around Erin, who buried her face in the dark-haired girl’s shoulder.

“He’ll wake up, won’t he?” Michelle asked nervously.

“Yes, he’ll be absolutely fine,” Kathy responded, “They’ve given him some strong sedatives but they’ll wear off soon. He’s out of danger now but we need to be gentle with him.”

Rory remained silent, staring speechlessly at his sleeping son, unable to avert his gaze. “Do Dale and Richard know?” he asked Kathy.

“Aye, they should be here soon,” Kathy replied.

“Speak of the devil,” Erin said as she registered the arrival of the two boys, one with brown hair and one with blond hair.

“Dickie!” Michelle gasped and immediately made a beeline for her boyfriend, who she duly kissed.

“Hi there, lads,” Rory said.

“Hello,” the boys responded in unison.

“Did you just get here?” Dale asked.

“Yes. Soon as we got the call we were on the first flight out of Belfast,” Erin answered.

“Wow, that was quick,” Richard muttered.

Erin burst into uncontrollable tears while Kathy and Michelle both hugged her. Noticing this, Rory turned to the two boys. “I know you’ve just got here but would you mind taking the girls to get some lunch?” he asked, “I think they need some blood sugar and they’re a bit tired after the impromptu flight!” 

“Ok, sure,” Dale answered.

“There’s a cafe a short walk away,” Richard added.

“You’ll feel better after you’ve eaten, girls,” Kathy said.

“If he wakes up while you’re away, I’ll tell him that you’re here,” Rory assured the girls.

Erin looked towards James, slightly crestfallen though she completely understood Rory and Kathy’s reasoning. It was nice that they cared about her well-being even though their own child had just been treated for a life-threatening illness. “Ok,” she said finally then kneeled next to James. “Wake up soon, my wee English prince,” she whispered to James, kissing his cheek before following Michelle and the boys out of the room.

Rory sat down in the chair next to the bed while Kathy took a seat on the other side. “Feels surreal, doesn’t it?” Rory muttered. “I can’t believe that my son, or rather - our son - could have died.” Tears trickled down his cheeks and caused his stubble to itch.

“Don’t think like that, Rory!” Kathy said, a little more harshly than she’d intended. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to shout.”

“It’s ok, Kathy,” Rory said softly. He stared at James in silence. “Isn’t it awful when your child’s in distress and there’s nothing practical you can do to help them?”

“Aye, I’ve never felt so useless,” Kathy said, “And that’s coming from me!”

“Don’t do yourself down, Kathy,” Rory said, “That’s all in the past and anyone who gives you grief can deal with me!”

Kathy blushed at the fact that the man she had deserted, and from whom she had concealed the existence of his son, was prepared to defend her honour. It touched her more than she could ever say. “I’m so touched,” she said in a shaky voice, “You’re a top-class gent, you know that?”

“I try to be,” Rory whispered modestly with a grin.

“I’m going to get a cup of tea, would you like one?” Kathy offered. “I’ll give you two some father-son time.”

“That would be lovely, thank you,” Rory answered. Kathy nodded and left the room.

“Look at you there, so helpless,” Rory muttered. “It’s a bit like having a new wee un. You look at them and they look back at you, completely dependent on you for everything. You know something, son, I’ve always thought we have a somewhat unconventional relationship because you’re so mature for your age and you were practically an adult when I met you so in a way, you’re more like a younger brother, a friend. Not that it means I love you any less, of course. But this is the first time I’ve seen you in such a vulnerable, childlike state.” Rory paused and gently held James’s limp hand. “Don’t rush to wake up now, son. Take all the time you need to sleep but just know that when you wake up, I’ll be here for you.” 

Rory continued to hold James’s hand, occasionally wiping away tears from his increasingly red face. He relaxed his body and gazed at the sterile walls for what felt like a long time but in reality, was probably only a few minutes. He turned his eyes back towards James and noticed that his eyes were beginning to flicker. When James managed to open both eyes fully, he looked up at Rory, who was simultaneously crying and smiling. 

“Dad,” James murmured plaintively.

“Hello, son,” Rory whispered, with a deep sigh of relief.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks as always for reading :)
> 
> I'll try to get another chapter up tomorrow but if I don't, have a good slide into the new year (as they say in Germany...in German, obviously).


	29. The Rogue Appendix, Part Four: The Need to Be Gentle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James is reunited with his parents and friends after waking up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year everyone!
> 
> Once again, another chapter for you.
> 
> I've not said this in a while so thanks to my friend Thenewwriter for his valuable contributions which make this story much better than it would otherwise be!

Rory and James looked at each other for a whole minute, saying nothing but smiling.

“What’s happened?” James murmured.

“Your appendix burst,” Rory answered. “Your ma took you here and they carried out an appendectomy straight away. Your mother called me early this morning and I came as soon as I could with Erin and Michelle. You’ve had quite an eventful eighteen hours, son.”

“I’m sorry for dragging you out here, Dad,” James whispered.

“You’ve got no reason to be sorry, my boy,” Rory said softly. “It’s not your fault at all. Sometimes life throws up unexpected events and this is one of them.”

“Well, thanks for coming over anyway,” James said feebly. 

“No bother at all, son.” Rory paused, “When your wee un’s sick, that trumps everything else and that’s part of being a parent. I know that you’re nineteen years old and in some ways, we’re more like friends than father and son but at the end of the day, the fact remains that I am your father and you are my son.” Rory took a glance out of the window then turned back to James. “I was so distraught when I got the call that Carol wouldn’t let me drive. Joe drove us to the airport and he was very complimentary about you. Everyone back in Derry and Limavady will be praying for you.”

“Where’s Mum? And what about Erin and Michelle?” 

“Your ma went to get some drinks just before you woke up. The girls were a bit tired and looking a bit hypoglycaemic so I asked Dale and Richard to take them to get a bite to eat. I would have surprised you and not told you the girls were here, but they told me to tell you, and you know as well as I do that you don’t argue with a Derry girl! Just give me one minute.” 

Rory headed out onto the ward and immediately made a bee-line for Kathy when he saw her walking towards him carrying two paper cups. “Is everything ok?” Kathy asked.

“He’s woken up,” Rory replied.

“Oh, thank God!” Kathy sighed with a palpable sense of relief. “Here’s your tea. Hardly any milk, no sugar.”

Rory smiled. “You remember just how I like it.”

“Of course, I never forgot anything about you.” Kathy reciprocated Rory’s smile. “We’d better tell the nurses that he’s woken up.” Kathy walked over to a desk where a nurse was filling in some forms. “Hi, Rosemary,” Kathy said, “James has woken up. This is James’s father, Rory Dolan. Rory, this is Rosemary who’s from Portstewart of all places!”

“Lovely to meet you, Rory,” Rosemary said with a friendly smile in a typically harsh Northern Irish accent. “Kathy’s told me all about you! Have you just got here from Limavady?”

“Yes, that’s right,” Rory answered. “James’s girlfriend and cousin are here too.”

“Wow, he has quite a fan club!” Rosemary chuckled. Kathy and Rory exchanged a smile, knowing this was completely true. “I’ll be with you in just a minute. I can’t believe I’ve met two people from the same county as me in the past three hours!”

“Small world!” Rory laughed.

Rory and Kathy headed into James’s side room where he continued to lie quietly in his bed.

“James!” Kathy squealed happily. “How’s my big handsome boy?”

“A bit tired,” James replied wearily.

“Oh, love, we were so worried about you, weren’t we, Rory?” Kathy said.

“Aye, he’s such a troublemaker for dragging me across the Irish Sea at the drop of a hat!” Rory teased. “None of my younger wee uns have ever caused me so much bother...not yet, anyway!”

“Oh, Rory, you’re so cruel!” Kathy giggled.

“Well, what’s the point in having wee uns if you can’t tease them? It’s the least we can expect after bringing them into the world!” Rory chuckled.

“Quite right!” Kathy agreed. “I’m so glad my brave wee soldier’s ok!”

Rosemary entered the room carrying an assortment of medical equipment. “Hello, James, I’m Rosemary and I’m one of the nurses,” she said, introducing herself. “I’ve just been talking to your parents. How are you feeling?”

“Tired and a bit sore but otherwise ok,” James mumbled.

“Let’s give you some painkillers,” Rosemary said. She carried out some checks on James and filled in some forms which she placed inside a card folder. “Ok, your vitals are looking good so I’ll let the doctor know.”

“When can I go home?” James asked.

“The doctor will have to examine you on the ward round tomorrow morning and then decide but it shouldn’t be too long,” Rosemary replied.

“We’re here, James, it’s ok,” Rory said, picking up James’s hand. “I’ll take some compassionate leave so I can spend some time with you.”

“You should make a full recovery within around six weeks. The key thing is to rest,” Rosemary told James.

“Ok,” James confirmed.

“There’s a good lad,” Rory said gently.

“Give us a buzz if you need anything,” Rosemary said and then left the room.

“Aunt Deirdre will probably be drawing up a recovery plan as we speak!” Kathy said.

Meanwhile, Dale, Richard, Michelle and Erin were walking back towards the hospital.

“Thank you, fellas, for looking after us,” Erin said solemnly, somewhat calmer than before but still on edge.

“Pleasure was all ours,” Richard replied with a smirk, ever the cheeky chappy, while Dale rolled his eyes.

“We know it’s been a difficult day for you and James would want us to make sure you’re ok,” Dale said with more sincerity than Richard had managed to muster. “He thinks the world of all of you girls, you know.”

“Aye, I know, and I feel the same,” Michelle said, a little subdued, “I don’t show it often but I do. I haven’t felt so shite since the day he almost left Derry.”

“Don’t remind me of that, Michelle!” Erin said melodramatically. “I’ve never said this to anyone, but I wrote James a letter that day to get my feelings off my chest. I’ve never shown it to him but I had to release the tension inside me.”

“Can you remember what it said?” Dale asked.

“Aye, every single word. It’s permanently imprinted on my brain,” Erin answered.

“Really, Erin?” Michelle said incredulously. “You could have helped me persuade him to stay!”

“I was speechless from the shock, Michelle!” Erin retorted. “Anyway, he stayed and that’s what matters. Though I know it must have been disappointing for you boys not to get him back.”

“It was, but we understood why because things were still in a bit of a mess with Kathy,” Dale said. 

“Not forgetting that you guys might not have gotten together,” Richard pointed out.

“He said that moving to Derry was the making of him and I have to say, I agree,” Dale commented.

“He met his da so in a way he did find the making of him if you catch my drift,” Michelle said.

“Consider your drift caught!” Erin said irritably. “But yes, I agree. He’s definitely become more confident since having Rory around.”

“He’s a really cool guy,” Richard remarked.

“Aye, he’s class,” Michelle agreed, while Dale and Erin also indicated assent to Richard’s statement. “If he weren’t practically my uncle I’d probably have a crush on him. Erin probably wishes she could call him her father-in-law.”

“Michelle, please!” Erin hissed. Michelle smirked while the boys tried to suppress laughter to avoid incurring the wrath of Erin.

When the four finally reached the corridor of the ward, Rory emerged from the men’s toilets and caught sight of his son’s friends.

“You’re in luck, wee uns, he’s woken up!” Rory announced happily.

“Yes!” Erin yelled and jumped suddenly into Rory’s arms - almost knocking him over - and kissed his cheek.

“Calm the fuck down, Erin!” Michelle snapped.

“Yes, steady on, Erin or I’ll be the next patient!” Rory said, trying to sound serious but failing to suppress a chuckle. He couldn’t fault Erin for her dedication to James, which never failed to warm his heart. “I know how much my boy means to you all, but you must let him rest, understood?” The four nodded.

Rory led the group towards the side room and asked them to wait outside briefly. 

“There are two beautiful women here to see you, son,” he said to James, trying and failing to suppress a grin. Michelle and Erin entered the side room, followed by Dale and Richard.

“What are you playing at, dicko? Don’t scare us like that again!” Michelle said in a simultaneously gentle and menacing tone. “You had us worried sick!”

“Sorry, Michelle,” James mumbled, his sarcasm evident despite his drowsiness.

“Don’t be mean, Michelle!” Erin said sharply. “He’s just had surgery for a life-threatening illness!”

“I know!” Michelle hissed. “All the more reason I’m glad to see my cousin!”

“Girls, please behave!” Kathy scowled.

“Hi, Erin,” James whispered.

“James,” Erin simpered, “My wee English prince! My wee handsome English fella!” She bent down, gently placed her arms around James and kissed his cheek. “I never want to let go!”

“I did try to warn you about taking Erin to see Titanic at the cinema, son!” Rory laughed.

“Tell me about it! That’s three hours of my life I’ll never get back!” Kathy grumbled. “Anyway, Rory, let’s get something to eat and leave the wee uns to catch up.”

“Good idea,” Rory replied, following Kathy out of the room.


	30. The Rogue Appendix, Part Five: Closure and Looking Ahead

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kathy and Rory get some lunch and have quite a serious chat.

“Follow me, Rory, I know a little cafe nearby,” Kathy said.

The two adults - entangled for eternity as a result of a brief relationship twenty years prior - left the sprawling premises of the hospital and headed through the neighbourhood to a small cafe.

“Looks a bit modest for your tastes, Kathy!” Rory teased.

“I hope you’re not insinuating that I’m pretentious, Rory Dolan,” Kathy retorted light-heartedly and feigning offence, even though she knew very well how cheeky he could be. “Remember I’m a wee girl from the Bogside! Let’s go inside.”

They walked inside, ordered food at the counter and sat down at a table. “You know, Rory, I can’t believe I haven’t asked about your family yet,” Kathy said.

“In all fairness, Kathy, you’ve been a bit preoccupied with more pressing matters over the last twenty-four hours!” Rory chuckled.

“Very true! So, what’s the craic? I miss being able to ask that question!”

“Well, Glen turned thirteen in March so I now have two teenage sons. Help me!”

“Oh my, hope that’s not too much of a handful for you!”

“Well, James is pretty mature as you know. Glen has his moments but he always has done! Hopefully, he’ll mature before too long!”

“Well, at least he’s got you and James as role models!” Rory smiled at Kathy’s compliment. “I bet he’ll be fancying girls soon!”

“I think he has a bit of a crush on your Michelle. To be fair, I can kind of see why, even if she’s six years older than him!”

“Oh really? Keep him safe, I know what Michelle’s like! How’s Ciara doing?”

“She’s great. She’s excited about going to secondary school in September. As for me and Carol, we can’t believe our wee uns are growing up so fast!”

“Tell me about it! It happens so quickly that if you blink you’ll miss it! Makes my keeping James from you all the more unforgivable.” Kathy sighed and looked down at her coffee cup, trying to avoid eye contact with Rory.

Rory sighed in return. “Kathy, we’ve been through this.” His tone of voice betrayed a level of irritation and a concurrent effort to remain calm. “You know full well that I understand why you did what you did and nobody has the right to judge you for it. I bet none of your friends would have had the slightest clue what to do if they fell pregnant by a wee Protestant lad.” 

“Deirdre said that actually. She also said I chose a good Prod to ride!”

“Well, that’s high praise indeed!” Rory and Kathy both laughed.

“I’m so glad we’re on civil terms despite everything.”

“Well, we both know that hatred and bearing grudges are futile and it’s good for James too, which is ultimately what’s most important. The last thing I’d want is for him to get anxious about us not getting on when it’s completely not his burden to bear.”

“By Christ, you’re so wise, Rory.”

Rory smiled. “Whatever way I look at it, my life is better as a result of meeting you all those years ago and, partially at least, I am the man I am now as a result. It was upsetting at first to find out about the son I never met but I think I’ve finally got closure.”

“That’s a huge relief to hear, Rory. You know, I found it hard when you first entered James’s life and by extension re-entered mine, but rightly or wrongly, you made me realise I’d been getting my priorities wrong over the years. I know I should have figured that out without your help but that’s the truth. It also revived the feelings I had for you when we were young. Key difference was that you were now married and unattainable.”

“I remember you saying. I told Carol and she was surprisingly understanding.”

“Was she?”

“Yes. She said she understood why you’d have feelings for me because she married me for the same reasons!”

“That’s a very pragmatic way to look at it. I have tried to repress those feelings and hope they’ll go away but it’s futile because….I think a part of me will always love you a wee bit and I need to accept that reality to deal with it.” Kathy paused and watched Rory’s eyes widen. “I’m sorry, Rory, I had no right to say that.”

“Kathy, it’s ok.” Rory smiled. “You need to deal with your feelings in whatever way you see fit. You’re the mother of my child and it’s in James’s interests - and my own and those of my family - for you to be happy. I’m pleased for you.”

“Thank you, Rory. You’ve no idea how much comfort that gives me to hear. I will make no apology for saying that you are the best fella I could ever have hoped to have a child with.” 

“Kathy, that’s kind of you but you don’t have to put me on a pedestal. I’m just an ordinary bloke in my early forties!”

“Well, you’ll always be special as far as I’m concerned.”

“Fine, you win!”

“Anyway, let’s look to the future. Do you reckon James will make an honest woman of Erin?”

“If he doesn’t then our boy will be on the receiving end of some stern words, let me tell you!”

“I’m glad you’re on the same page as me! They’re so adorable together, don’t you think?"

“Dead on, nothing’s cuter than a pair of loved up wee dorks! Though I hope they don’t rush into anything too quickly.”

“Yes, we shouldn’t pressure them.”

“To be honest, Kathy, I have a bit of a reputation for tearing up at weddings. Honestly, I can’t stop myself! If it were my own wee un getting married I’d collapse into a total wreck!”

“Well, at least you’ve got a few years to gear yourself up!”

“I may need that time!”

Kathy laughed. “Let’s go back and see our wee boy.”


	31. The Rogue Appendix, Part Six: Time Alone Together

After Rory and Kathy left, Michelle and Erin sat down in the chairs on either side of James’s bed. Erin wrapped her arms around James as tightly as she could. Dale and Richard sat in the deep window bay.

“Are you ok, Erin?” Dale asked. “You seem very...protective of James there.”

“I have to be, Dale, he’s my wee English fella!” Erin responded melodramatically.

“Erin, I’m ok, I’ll make a full recovery,” James murmured.

“Aye, wise up, Erin!” Michelle added, “All the self-defence wee dicko here learned worked against the grim reaper!” 

Richard and Dale burst out into fits of laughter. “I can totally see why you two are a couple,” Dales said, turning his head between Michelle and Richard.

“Dark humour is the best humour, Dale, and Michelle’s the queen of it,” Richard said, exchanging a smirk with Michelle. Dale and Erin looked at each other and rolled their eyes, both of them understanding what it was like to be the long-suffering friend of a gobby person. “But anyway, appendicitis proved no match for this wee fighter here! Oh fuck, I just described something as wee for no reason!”

“The proudest day of my life!” Michelle beamed happily.

“It’s ironic, really,” Erin sighed, looking at James adoringly, “You get by in a dangerous city plagued by car bombs, sectarianism and regular violence but it’s in your hometown that you ended up in casualty with a life-threatening illness.”

“Casualty? I didn’t know you were a TV star,” Michelle said facetiously. “We’d better tell Orla to look out for you.” She turned to Dale and Richard. “Orla loves Casualty. She really buzzes off ambulance sirens and defibrillators. You should have seen her doing first aid on her great uncle just before he died. She was in her element.” Even Richard was visibly disturbed, even though he was usually on the same wavelength as Michelle.

“Can we please stop talking about the fact that I could have died?” James grumbled.

“Ok, James, I won’t mention it for a few days but after that I will refer to it regularly for the rest of your life, or mine, depending on who lives the longest,” Michelle answered with an irritatingly cocky expression. For James, it was strangely comforting that Michelle was by his side, being her usual mouthy self. “I mean, I’m a woman and we generally live longer but then I drink more booze, so it’ll be an interesting one.”

“Let’s stop talking about talking about death and be happy that James has now come round!” Dale said, a little exasperated by Michelle and Richard. 

“Good idea,” Richard said. “I must say, I wouldn’t mind having three gorgeous women around after surgery.”

“Richard, please stop! I swear Michelle’s even worse with you around!” Erin huffed.

“Don’t stop on my account, Big Dickie!” Michelle said with a smirk.

“Three?” James said quizzically.

“Don’t pretend to be naive, James, you know I’ve always found your mum very attractive,” Richard said casually. “I mean, those eyebrows could knock dead every man within a three-mile radius. Don’t you agree, Dale?”

“On this occasion, yes,” Dale answered. “Sorry James, but Richard’s right.”

“Really, guys? Really?” James groaned.


	32. The Rogue Appendix, Part Seven: Scars and Spandex

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James returns to Derry and talks to Kathy about how their lives have changed over the past two years. The gang all make an appearance too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter in The Rogue Appendix story arc - really just a filler chapter really to tie it up :)

“I really appreciate you coming back to Derry with me, Mum,” James said as their ferry approached Belfast port. Rory had taken a week’s compassionate leave and then returned home. James had then spent two weeks in London recuperating.

“Oh, love, it’s no problem at all!” Kathy replied. “I mean, your father came to see you at the drop of a hat so it’s only fair I return the favour and I was planning to come over and see Auntie Deirdre anyway so it worked out well. I know you’ve been missing your girls but it’s been lovely having you at home for a bit.”

“My girls? You make me sound like some sort of...I don’t know what actually.”

“The wee English pimp has a ring to it. Sort of cute but sordid at the same time.”

“Are you sure you’re my mother and not Michelle’s?”

“That DNA test you took to add your father to your birth certificate was pretty conclusive! And I distinctly remember ending up with a wee boy after a long, painful labour.”

“Ok, Mum, I didn’t need that detail!”

“Yes you do, love. You fellas need to understand what we women have to go through. Or try to understand anyway.”

“You’ll never run out of ways to embarrass me will you?”

“No, what sort of parent would I be if I did that?”

“I still can’t decide whether you or dad is worse!”

“Now don’t be disrespectful!” Kathy said teasingly. “Just wait until your father hears about this!”

“You enjoy saying that don’t you?”

“Of course, it’s one of the side benefits of your father being in your life!” 

James and Kathy both laughed.

“Ironically, I got up to the worst mischief before I met Dad so he hasn’t punished me retrospectively!”

“He doesn’t dwell on the past does your da. He’d be entirely justified in hating my guts with every fibre of his being but somehow he has the strength to be civil, friendly even towards me. He’s a very special man, your father, and we’re both so lucky to have him in our lives.”

“If I can be half the man he is I’ll be doing ok.”

“Oh, love, you get more like him every day.” Kathy stroked her son’s hair as though he were a child, even though he was approaching the end of his teenage years.

“Thanks, Mum. Was it hard to adjust to having him in your life again?”

“Yes, a bit, but we’ve worked through our history because you’re the most important thing in our lives. Well, jointly with Glen and Ciara in your father’s life but you get what I mean.”

When the ferry reached Belfast, James and Kathy disembarked and met Deirdre in the car park.

“James! Kathy!” Deirdre beamed. “Sure, I’m glad to see you both!”

“I never thought you’d be so buzzing to see me!” Kathy responded.

“Nor did I, but here we are!” Deirdre said.

“Oh, good one, sister!” Kathy laughed.

“So, how’s my favourite wee Brit?” Deirdre asked.

“Much better than I have been but it’s been a crazy few weeks,” James replied.

“Well, you’ve got me as a live-in nurse now!” Deirdre said. 

“You can employ Michelle and Erin as apprentices!” Kathy cackled.

“That’s an idea,” Deirdre said, “Anyway, let’s get going.”

The two sisters and James climbed into Deirdre’s car and set off. James fell asleep and woke up just as Deirdre turned into a familiar street.

“Why are we stopping here?” James asked.

“James, you’ve had appendicitis, not amnesia,” Deirdre replied with sarcasm that reminded him of Michelle. “Your girlfriend lives here! Surely you want to say hello!”

James said nothing and followed his mother and aunt out of the car to the Quinn house and knocked on the door.

“James!” Orla squealed excitedly as she opened the door with a broad smile then leapt into James’s arms the way she did the day of the Clinton visit.

“Ouch!” James yelled.

“Careful, Orla!” Deirdre warned.

“Ouch? Is that an English greeting?” Orla asked.

“No, I’m just still a bit sore,” James explained. 

“Mammy, Aunt Kathy! What’s up motherfuckers!” Michelle yelled as she materialised with Clare following behind her, rolling her eyes. “Hello, dicko,” she added casually.

“Michelle! That’s no way to greet your cousin who’s just back after recuperating from surgery!” Deirdre scolded.

“It’s all affectionate, Mammy,” Michelle argued.

“We were the same at that age, Deirdre,” Kathy remarked.

“Aye, we were,” Deirdre conceded.

“Where’s Erin?” James asked.

“Washing her hair,” Clare answered.

“What could she be doing that’s so important?” Kathy asked sceptically.

“No, she is genuinely washing her hair. It’s not a cover story for a lame excuse,” Clare elaborated on her previous answer. “She was supervising Anna in the garden who decided her hair would benefit from a touch of damp mud.”

“It was carnage. She was proper raging,” Michelle commented.

“Quite entertaining though,” Orla mumbled.

“James!” Erin cried from the upstairs landing as she registered the site of her boyfriend at the bottom of the stairs then charged down the stairs so quickly she would have left a hole in the wall if she’d continued, about which Mary would not be buzzing.

“Hello,” James whispered, hugging Erin tentatively as to not trigger any abdominal pain. He then hugged the rest of the girls in turn.

“Have you got a scar, James?” Orla asked. “I read this book about a wee English fella who has a scar and wears these funny glasses. Scars are so cracker.”

“Yes, I do, actually,” James responded.

“Let’s see it!” Orla shrilled excitedly.

“Orla, it’s a scar that James got after surgery for a life-threatening illness!” Clare huffed. “Don’t be so flippant!”

“It’s ok, Clare,” James said softly, smiling at Clare’s concern for him. He lifted up his shirt to reveal a small scar.

“Aye, that’s so cracker,” Orla sighed, gazing in amazement, causing the other girls, Deirdre and Kathy to roll their eyes, even though this was typical of Orla.

The door opened and Mary, Gerry, Sarah and Joe came in. 

“Kathy, what about you?” Sarah beamed. “Christ, I don’t know how you keep those eyebrows ship-shape and I’ve got a City and Guilds in beauty treatment.”

“Good genes, Sarah,” Kathy responded with a wink.

“James, you poor critter!” Mary cried when she saw James, relieved though she was to see him healthy. “By Christ, we’ve been worried about you haven’t we, Gerry?”

“Yes, we have, but it’s good to see you back, James,” Gerry said.

“We had the good rosary beads out for you, son,” Joe added. “We never thought we’d be praying for a wee limey but it’s a funny old world nowadays.”

“Erm, thanks, I feel honoured,” James said nervously.

“Aye, we heard all about your wee appendix,” Sarah mumbled. “Sure, I once had a top out of appendix that gave me a horrible rash.”

“That’s spandex, Aunt Sarah!” Erin hissed.

“Aye, nightmare so it was. All that Sudocrem cost a fortune so it did,” Sarah said.

“I hope they looked after you,” Mary said slightly hysterically. “I don’t know what healthcare in England is like!”

“I phoned the hospital made sure they were doing everything right,” Deirdre chuckled. 

“Believe or notm we do have a half-decent health care system in England which may be a surprise given what a land of savages my native land is,” James said drily, looking pointedly at Michelle, causing everyone in the room to laugh.

“I must apologise for my boy’s insolence. Just wait until I tell Rory! Although I think that’s where James gets his cheeky streak from!” Kathy said proudly.

“Sorry, Kathy, I didn’t say hello!” Mary said. “Da! Gerry! Say hello!” she ordered her husband and father.  
“Hello,” Gerry and Joe said compliantly in unison.

“Let’s have some tea and share the craic,” Mary said, then headed over to the kettle.


	33. No Such Thing As a Break

James walked into his shared student house, exhausted after a day in the library working on his essays, the end of term deadlines looming. He placed his bag down in his and headed to the kitchen and took a can of beer out of the fridge - it was 6:30 in the evening and - James reasoned with himself - an acceptable time to consume alcohol. He smiled as he thought of Michelle, for whom an acceptable time to drink was not a concept; fortunately, Michelle had friends in Leeds to keep her on the straight and narrow.

James sat down on the sofa and the phone rang. It was an old phone with no screen, so the identity of the caller remained a mystery. He picked up the receiver. “Hello, it’s James.”

“Good evening, James, my boy!” Rory’s voice boomed down the phone. James could envisage his father smiling broadly down the phone on the other side of the sea. “I’ll have to tell Gerry that you’re good at answering the phone to make him jealous!”

“Well, I’m glad I’m good for something,” James said sarcastically, yawning slightly.

“I hope your talents extend to studying, son.”

“I’ve been in the library most of today so hopefully that will pay off.”

“You sound knackered, son. Are you ok?”

“Yes, just feel like I’ve hardly left the library!”

“Are you sure that’s the reason? You haven’t been going out drinking every night have you?” Rory asked teasingly.

“Quite positive,” James sighed slightly irritably. “Mum was so proud of me for finishing last year with a first and I just want to continue that.”

“I know you do, son. I’m not doubting your work ethic!”

“How are things at home?”

“Oh, just ticking along. Ciara’s settling in well at secondary school and making lots of friends. She’s a bit tired of teachers constantly asking her if she’s related to Glen but I’ve told her she’ll have to contend with that for a while because I had to as well! Glen keeps insisting he doesn’t fancy any girls in his year but I’m not so sure I believe him.”

“Glen having a crush? He’s only thirteen!”

“Yes, but Uncle Mark was winking at girls left right and centre at that age. Your grandmother frequently had to tell him off for winking at such a young age! Speaking of romance, how is your lovely lady?”

“I’ve not actually spoken to her for about a week now and I’ve not seen her since Halloween!”

“Really? But that was nearly three weeks ago!”

“Yes, I know…” James sighed, took a deep breath and briefly closed his eyes when realised how long it had been since he had seen his girlfriend. “Fuck, that’s a long time.”

“It is rather. Is everything ok? Do you want to talk to me about anything? Can I help?”

“We’ve just been really busy and haven’t managed to make time to see each other. God, maybe I’m not as good a boyfriend as I thought I was. I hope Erin doesn’t think I want to take a break.”

“Listen, son, I’ve got two things to say. Number one: there’s no use getting melodramatic and introspective. It doesn’t help in scenarios like these. Number two: there’s no such thing as a ‘break’ in a relationship. This isn’t Friends! A relationship isn’t like a job that you can forget about when you get home. Relationships take a lot of commitment, effort and most importantly, communication. I don’t want to get bossy and heavy-handed but I know how happy you two are together and I’d hate to see you heartbroken. I know it’s not only your responsibility, James, but please don’t neglect your relationship.”

“Thank you, Dad, I needed to hear that. You’re so right! I appreciate it.”

“Not at all, son. I only say it because I care.”

“Look, Dad, I’m sorry but I’d better go. There’s something I need to do.”

“Right now?”

“Yes. Look, let’s speak again in a few days. Bye, Dad!”

“Oh, ok. Bye, son!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a bit of a filler chapter and not the best, but I've got a better one coming!


	34. The Impromptu Scouse Adventure, Part One: The Bouquet of Guilt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James decides drastic action is necessary.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So for some reason I really enjoy writing chapters involving journeys, so here's one for you!

James knew he had to see Erin immediately. Over the past week, he and Erin had somehow failed to find a mutually convenient time to call and the more James thought about it, the sadder he felt. Drastic action was required.

James bolted up the stairs and packed an overnight bag, along with a draft of his essay to proof-read. He hurried down the stairs, put on his shoes and grabbed his raincoat. Jason - his first-year flatmate with whom he shared the house - appeared just as James was fastening the zip. 

“Are you off out?” Jason asked.

“Yes, I’m just going to Liverpool to see Erin,” James answered, agitated.

“Seems very sudden.”

“Yes, it is rather sudden but I’ve got to go. Can you tell Natalie and Paula I’ll be back in a couple of days?”

“Yeah of course.”

“Thanks. Bye!”

“Bye!”

James stepped out onto the street. It was cold and dark on account of it being mid-November and the rain was falling heavily - even by the standards of Manchester. He sprinted down the street to the nearest bus stop. The timetable indicated that a bus was due in five minutes and James could hardly stand still as he waited impatiently for the bus and when it finally appeared, he stuck his left arm out neurotically - not prepared to risk missing the bus - completely indifferent to the funny looks he was receiving.

Once James received the city centre, he headed to the coach station and bought a ticket for the next coach to Liverpool, which was due to leave in five minutes. He climbed onto the coach and took his seat, struggling to sit still as he waited for it to depart. As it pulled out of the bay, he sighed in relief that he was finally on the way to Liverpool.

James attempted to read his essay but - preoccupied with motion sickness and thoughts of Erin - he couldn't concentrate for the life of him. He stared out of the window at the traffic-heavy motorway as the distance to Liverpool as indicated on the signs incrementally decreased. As the coach passed the large IKEA store outside Warrington, James began to have doubts about this impromptu trip along the M62. Would Erin appreciate his efforts? Would she get suspicious? What if she was out for the evening? James kicked himself for not thinking about that very likely eventuality.

James stood up as the coach got closer to the end of its journey, fully prepared to take the risk of facing the wrath of the curmudgeonly driver. The moment the door finally opened, James quickly thanked the driver and hurried off the coach through the crowd of people in the direction of Erin’s house. He spotted a small Marks and Spencer and decided it would be nice to buy Erin some flowers. Luckily, there was one bunch left and it didn’t comprise the sort of flowers James would normally buy for Erin, but choice was not a luxury he had. He made a mental note to buy a bespoke bouquet through Interflora for Valentine’s Day.

“What are you in trouble for?” the cashier asked suspiciously, noticing James’s sheepish expression.

“Hopefully nothing,” James answered in a panicked tone of voice. He frantically paid for the flowers and rushed out of the shop into the street, where the rain continued to lash down, as heavily as in Manchester. Sprinting through the streets while carrying a bunch of flowers, he probably looked slightly ridiculous but that was the least of his concerns. Exhausted from the running, he reached Erin’s door, took a deep breath and rang the doorbell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be continued....


	35. The Impromptu Scouse Adventure, Part Two: Doing It a Different Way

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a surprise for Erin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follows on from my previous chapter...

Erin was sitting at the kitchen table reading her coursebook while her housemate Sophie cooked the dinner when the doorbell rang.

“I’ll get that,” Erin said. “It’ll probably be people trying to sell us something.”

“Tell them we’re not interested unless it’s Gary Barlow calling to say Take That are getting back together,” Sophie called towards Erin. 

Erin slowly opened the door while mentally rehearsing a speech to deploy in the likely event that her prediction that the caller was a doorstep salesman was correct. “Whatever it is you’re selling, we’re not-” She stopped talking abruptly when she registered the site of James on the doorstep looking like a drowned rat while holding a bunch of flowers. It was a surreal moment - sweet and comical in equal measure.

“Hi, Erin,” James said.

“James?”

“Yes, that is my name, though I know you thought it was John when I first moved to Derry.”

Erin ignored James’s attempt at humour, still astonished by his sudden arrival. “What are you doing here?”

“I was desperate to see you,” James replied plaintively, the effect enhanced by his saturated, rain-soaked appearance. “I’d had enough of not seeing you and I missed you so much I came on the next bus.” He gulped. “Can I come in?” He was an abandoned, defenceless puppy, crying out for affection.

“No,” Erin replied bluntly with a humourless expression.

“Oh, ok, I’ll go then,” James responded melancholically. “Have these,” he added, passing Erin the Marks and Spencer bouquet. He turned around and walked away feeling dejected. Maybe the romantic bond between him and Erin wasn’t so strong after all. He stopped when he heard the sound of hysterical laughter and turned back towards Erin to see her bent over double with amusement. “Erin?”

“Oh, James!” Erin paused to take a breath and regain composure. “Did you actually think I was serious?”

“Well, I hoped you weren’t but I wasn’t taking my chances!” James stammered.

“Get inside you daft wee Sassenach!” Erin commanded in a way that only the daughter of a woman as formidable as Mary Quinn could.

“Erin, what’s so funny?” Sophie called as she entered the hallway. “Oh, hello, James. I didn’t know you were coming.”

“Nor did I until a couple of hours ago,” James responded.

“James, go upstairs, have a shower and get changed!” Erin ordered, and James duly complied. When James was out of earshot, she turned to Sophie. “I told him to leave and he thought I meant it!”

“That is so cruel!” Sophie gasped. “I’d give anything for a fella who surprises me like that.”

“Treat them mean, keep them keen! That’s what Michelle says anyway though I don’t know whether she’s the best source of romantic advice.”

“The dinner will be ready in about ten minutes. There’s enough for James too.”

About ten minutes later, James walked into the kitchen wearing his pyjamas as the girls were serving up the curry.

“I hope you’re hungry, James,” Sophie said.

“Oh, I wasn’t expecting you to feed me!” James responded.

“No bother at all! If anything it just demonstrates the benefits of batch cooking!” Sophie said brightly.

“Come here and kiss me!” Erin instructed, still acting dominant and commanding as before. James obeyed Erin’s order. “James, you can borrow my dressing gown if you’re cold.”

“But it’s bright pink!” James protested.

“Pink suits you! Just like those waterproof trousers!” Erin retorted. “Let me grab it.” Erin disappeared and returned with her dressing gown, which James reluctantly put on.

“See, doesn’t he look cracker?” Erin beamed.

“Aye, real men aren’t too self-conscious to wear pink!” Sophie agreed.

Sophie and Erin brought the food to the table. “Did you have plans this evening?” James asked.

“Not really, apart from watching a movie with a bit of ice cream,” Erin answered.

“I can go upstairs if you want a girly night in,” James offered.

“Catch yourself on, James!” Erin snorted. “I’m not going to shut out my boyfriend who just travelled thirty miles to see me! Besides, you’re an honorary Derry Girl!”

“Erin, we’ll have to add appreciation of good boyfriends to our list of similarities between Catholics and Protestants,” Sophie said.

“Aye, you should see that list, James. Clare would be proud of it,” Erin added.

“I still can’t believe Erin played that trick on you,” Sophie said. “We’re not as cruel where I come from!”

“Where’s that again?” James asked.

“Bangor, near Belfast,” Sophie replied. “Not to be confused with the Bangor in North Wales.” 

The trio finished their meals and migrated to the sitting room to watch a film. Sophie excused herself when the film ended, leaving James and Erin alone.

“Shall we go upstairs?” Erin asked.

“Yes,” James answered.

Erin and James proceeded upstairs to Erin’s small bedroom and climbed into bed.

“James, what compelled you to come over so suddenly? I’m just curious.”

“I’ll be honest with you: my dad called and I told him that we hadn’t seen each other for a while. He reminded me that relationships require hard work and commitment, which is true, and I immediately wanted to show that I am committed to our relationship. I’m not proud of the fact that it was a call from my dad that spurred me on to come over but that’s the truth. I don’t want us to drift apart because I love you too much!”

“It’s ok. My ma said something similar to me and that I can’t let such a class fella like you go.”

“Well, I just hope my devotion to you is clear.”

“Your actions show that, James, and actions speak louder than words. Although in this case, your words and actions are consistent with each other.”

“I love you, Erin Quinn.”

“I love you, James Maguire.”

“Oh actually, I’m changing that to James Dolan now,” James corrected, immediately breaking into a smirk.

“Are you trying to trick me?” Erin asked sharply.

“Consider it revenge for earlier!”

“Aye, fair enough. You know, you turning up on my doorstep is becoming a recurring theme. Reminds me of that prom night when you turned up looking all dapper in your tux and your wee scarf.”

“You looked so gorgeous in your Easter dress.”

“I’ve never forgotten that night. It made me realise how fond I was of you and what a good friend you are, not to mention that you’re sort of handsome in your own way.”

“In my own way? What does that mean?”

“I don’t really know. But I will say you do look cracker in a suit. More cracker than usual, I should say.”

“And in the same way, a dress always accentuates your beauty.”

“Let’s try something. I read in a magazine that sex can be improved by acting out scenes from films beforehand.”

“Presumably not Pulp Fiction.”

“No, but Pulp Fiction does star an actress from Derry.”

“Yes, you’ve said so many times. Let’s try it then.”

“Right, I’ll start and you follow.” Erin paused. “I love you, Jack!”

“Don’t you do that! Don’t you say your goodbyes!” James paused as he tried to remember the rest of the scene while Erin stared at him expectantly. “Look, I don’t think this is working!” Erin’s face froze and James immediately regretted his choice of language.

“It’s not working?” Erin gasped, equally horrified and incredulous. “I don’t understand! You come over to surprise me and reaffirm your love for me and all of a sudden you say it’s not working! Explain!”

“It’s not like that!” James yelled.

“What is it then?” Erin demanded.

“I meant that I don’t think that attempt at foreplay was working!” James explained in a panic. “If anything, it just made me more inhibited!” 

“So you’re not breaking up with me?”

“I am categorically not! I just don’t think we should try to be something we’re not. We’re both a bit shy and dorky and we should embrace that!” James paused. “You could say this was an independent love song,” he sang.

“It’s nothing like to us what love meant to them. But that’s not to say the love we had isn’t good or that strong,” Erin continued.

“I’m doing it a different way. I’m doing it a different way,” they both sang in unison before continuing one of their favourite songs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and hope you enjoyed, though I know it's very cheesy! Let me know what you think :)


	36. An Epistolary Chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a couple of letters to round off the recent story arc.

Manchester, 22 November 1998

Hi Dad

Sorry I had to go so suddenly the other day, but let me explain. I realised during the course of our conversation that I had to see Erin so I immediately went to Liverpool to surprise her. She appreciated it and it was so lovely to see her again. I definitely should not have let it go so long but I can definitively say that we’re very much committed to each other. You’ll be pleased to know I bought her some flowers from M&S - not the same calibre as Waitrose but good enough!

I’ve just finished my essay which I’m going to hand in tomorrow. I’m working Tuesday - I’m lucky to have the job as a break from uni work and I do enjoy teaching children self-defence. Not to mention that the money’s useful for...all kinds of purposes.

Anyway, that’s all I had to say - I just wanted to let you know that everything’s ok with me.

Thank you so much for that advice - I definitely needed to hear it! I don’t know what I’d do without you and I’m not sure how I got by without you for most of my childhood.

Can’t wait to come home for Christmas and see you again.

Love you,

James x

Limavady, 25 November 1998

Dear James,

A letter? How traditional! I think this means that out of all the members of the Derry and District Empty Nest Syndrome Support Group, I have the most communicative wee un! Better still, you didn’t even ask for money - I read the letter three times and asked Carol to check it just in case I missed any subtle ploy!

Anyway, Gerry told me that Erin rang and told him, Mary, Sarah and Joe about your impromptu trip to Liverpool and I have to say I couldn’t stop smiling. But seriously, I really admire that show of initiative and I’m glad you’re taking your relationship seriously because you and Erin are so lucky to have each other. Good work, son! Glen will be lucky to have such a good role model to look up to! Speaking of which, Ciara found out through the grapevine that Glen seriously fancies a girl in his class! No, I’m not sure how he expected to keep that secret when his sister goes to the same school. But we’ve all agreed not to mention it to him in the hope he admits it by mistake - much more entertaining!

Unfortunately, mine and Gerry’s colleagues are incredibly nosy and once Caoimhe (our payroll clerk who I think you met once) overheard our conversation, it was the talk of the office! We get asked about you two all the time - anyone would think you were celebrities!

Anyway, looking forward to having you back again for Christmas - don’t work too hard in the meantime!

All my love,

Your father x


	37. Millennium Bug

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A new millennium finally arrives and the gang are keen to mark it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok...not the best chapter in this fic by a long way but I felt it would be remiss not to mention the new millennium in this fic! Enjoy it!
> 
> Many thanks to Sweepo who very kindly gave me some input on how the new millennium was marked in Derry. Please check out his fics as well :)

“Motherfuckers!” Michelle yelled when Erin opened the door to her and James.

“Michelle, are you ever going to think of a new catchphrase? You know, for the new millennium?” Erin asked with a huff.

“Not likely Erin, it’s part of who I am now,” Michelle answered confidently. “And let’s not forget the film starred our local girl Bronagh Gallagher!”

“Give me strength!” Erin muttered.

“You’ll need it!” James whispered once Michelle had merrily scampered away towards the kitchen.

“Oh, James, you are a very wicked wee English fella!” Erin said playfully.

“Oi! No funny business!” James and Erin were suddenly startled by the formidable presence of Mary Quinn, holding a wooden spoon covered in specks of cookie dough. “Look, I know it’s the new millennium and you’re excited but don’t be getting any ideas of engaging in funny business in my hallway! By Christ, if my da caught you he’d drop dead and that would be all I need!”

“Leave the wee uns alone, Mary!” Joe barked as he appeared at the top of the stairs and walked down. “The wee limey knows exactly where he stands, isn’t that right, son?”

“Yes, absolutely. We have our own Anglo-Irish Agreement but hopefully it won't bring about a civil war,” James responded. Joe, James and Erin followed Mary to the living room where Orla, Clare, Michelle, Sarah, Gerry and Anna were gathered.

“Evening James, looking forward to celebrating?” Gerry asked.

“Yes, definitely. I know it’s only a date but it’ll be symbolic,” James replied.

“I know I’m gonna be symbolically hungover!” Michelle declared.

“Michelle, you’d end up in a hangover that lasted until June!” Clare squeaked. “We have college finals then!”

“Clare, can you please stop being a craic killer for just one evening?” Michelle snapped. “We’ll only experience one new millennium and I am gonna make it count!”

“Steady on, Michelle! You’ll end up in a coma by half eleven if you’re not careful!” James said.

“Catch yourself on, James!” I’ve never fallen asleep before one am before!” Michelle retorted.

“Well, new millennium, new habits!” Erin said.

“I’m not buzzin’ about this millennium bug!” Sarah interjected.

“Sarah, do you know what the millennium bug is?” Gerry asked.

“Aye, sure I do, Gerry. We’re gonna be overrun with millipedes so we are and they’re a nuisance when you’re trying to maintain this hairstyle,” Sarah replied. “As if the carry on with the polar bear wasn’t bad enough.”

“I prefer centipedes, so I do,” Orla mumbled. “Sure, it must take forever to take their shoes off. Maybe they should wear heavy-duty socks instead.”

“Oh, Orla,” James muttered.

“Pity Dale and Richard couldn’t make it,” Erin remarked. “I mean, I know we’ve got one wee English fella but it’s nice to have two more.”

“Aye, as backups? Sure, you wouldn’t drive a car without a spare tyre,” Orla commented whimsically. The other four said nothing while James tried to imagine what witty response Richard would have come up with.”

“Why couldn’t they come?” Gerry asked.

“Richard’s got norovirus and Dale’s got the flu so they’ll be watching the coverage on the BBC,” James explained. “I feel like the lucky one.”

“You’ve got the luck of the Irish in your blood,” Erin said to James and kissed him on the cheek.

“Well, girls, we’d better be out. This millennium won’t celebrate itself!” Michelle hollered. She walked out with her four friends following her.

“Well, this is a bit shite!” Michelle moaned as the gang stood on the edge of the Guildhall Square. “Atticus, NV! Humble Beez! I’ve ever heard of these bands!”

“Aye, letdown so it is,” Orla agreed.

“They’re not even from Derry!” Erin whined. “Surely a city of our cultural stature can do better than this!” 

“Where are the bands from?” James asked.

“One of them’s from Newry and the other is from Strabane,” Clare answered.

“I’ve never been to Strabane,” James commented.

“Aye, you’re not missing much,” Erin commented.

“I never thought I’d say this but I’d rather be in London than here!” Michelle grumbled. “Obviously Dublin would be better but even London would beat this craic-free shite!”

“Aye, that wee wheel does look cracker. Even though it’s not especially wee. I’m gonna ring John Hume’s office and lobby for a Derry Eye!” Orla added.

“If I rode that wheel I’d have a cack attack!” Clare stammered.

“Well, we all know that doesn’t take much!” Michelle said sarkily.

“Why don’t we go home and make cocktails?” Orla suggested, drawing four surprised faces with her eminently sensible idea.

“Let’s do it, motherfuckers!” Michelle yelled.

The gang made a brief trip to the off-licence and returned to the Quinn household to find Mary, Sarah, Gerry and Joe laughing raucously on the sofa while Anna - who James could hardly believe was now six years old - giggled at the tipsy state of the adults.

“Feck! They’re drunk and we’re sober!” Erin hissed.

“This isn’t right!” agreed.

“Let’s get drinking!” Clare shrieked with a disturbing level of enthusiasm.

“I’ll get the drinks out!” Orla said. 

“Let’s do shots! That’ll get us sufficiently inebriated!” James added.

“Inebriated? Stop being a posh English dick!” Michelle snapped.

“Help Orla with the drinks!” Erin ordered.

“Yes, ma’am!” James responded compliantly.

“There’s a good wee English fella!” Erin cooed.

James and Orla prepared shots and what predictably followed were several hours of merriment until Mary noticed the time. “Quick, turn on the telly!”

Gerry turned on the television and changed the channel to RTE where Millennium Eve was broadcasting live from Dublin. After several minutes of inane chat, the countdown finally began and the whole room joined in. “Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one. Happy New Millennium!”

And so it had begun: a new millennium for the Derry Girls and the wee English fella.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Atticus NV and Humble Beez were two bands playing in Derry on NYE 1999 who are from Strabane and Newry respectively.
> 
> Neither of them has a Wikipedia page and this is the only source I could find which mentions them http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/northern_ireland/584006.stm
> 
> Thanks again to Sweepo for that nugget of knowledge!
> 
> I'm looking forward to writing the next chapter which will hopefully be better than this one!


	38. The Wee Graduate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a rite of passage for James and an emotional day for Rory and Kathy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A somewhat longer chapter for you and one that I really enjoyed writing :)
> 
> This chapter is for Warks1999 - please make sure you check out his phenomenal series "Our Favourite Eejits" but please arm yourself with plenty of tissues...

“This is not the ideal day for wearing a suit,” James remarked, “I mean, of all days for it to be thirty degrees in north-west England!”

“I can’t disagree with you there, son,” Rory replied, awkwardly fiddling with the knot of his tie. “But you’re graduating and you need to look the part. This is a major rite of passage for you.”

“You didn’t have to wear one though,” James pointed out.

“No, I didn’t, but my boy graduating from a top university with a first-class degree definitely calls for me to look my best,” Rory said.

“Oh, Rory, you’re so classy!” Kathy chuckled. “But seriously, you both look very handsome. But your father’s right, James, and it’s only for one day. But if you ever get married you may want to consider a three-piece suit so you can take off your jacket and still look dapper in your wee waistcoat!”

“I’m hoping it’s when rather than if!” Rory said with a smirk. James was glad for that moment that Erin’s graduation was taking place at the same time so she didn’t have to share in the embarrassment, though Rory was by now well-known for his teasing in the Quinn-McCool family.

“Ok, can we focus on one major life event at a time please?” James asked, slightly exasperated.

“Certainly, son, we can talk about innovative ways to propose to Erin tomorrow!” Rory responded.

“Good one, Rory! I must say, I’m glad I can wear a dress given this weather!” Kathy said smugly.

“If you had a hat you’d look like you’re going to the Grand National!” Rory chuckled.

“Oh, Rory, I don’t do hats. I’d bloody look like Camilla Parker-Bowles!” Kathy laughed.

“Let’s go and get the tickets,” James said, trying to take control of the situation from his parents who were too busy amusing themselves. They proceeded to a ticket desk where James announced his name, date of birth and number of guests.

“Good morning, James,” the woman behind the desk said, then turned to Rory and Kathy. “I assume you’re Mr and Mrs Maguire?”

“It’s Mr Dolan and Ms Maguire, actually,” Kathy blurted out automatically, even though it was not necessary given they were very unlikely to ever meet this woman again. Truth be told, Kathy would definitely not have minded people assuming she was married to Rory. He was handsome and charming after all.

“Long story,” Rory added quickly.

“Ok, well here are your tickets. James, here’s the token for your robes. You’ll need to head that way to collect them,” the woman informed the small, temporarily-restored family. “Enjoy the day.”

“Thank you,” James responded, before heading over to get robed up.

“Look at him, Rory, he’s like a wee wizard!” Kathy cooed when James returned in his mortar board and gown.

“Let me get a photo,” Rory said, opening the camera case draped across his right shoulder. “This camera is utterly class, Kathy. It’s digital! You can see what you’ve taken straight away and get instant feedback! You don’t have to worry about wasting film or wait for the photos to get developed only to find out that they’re all crap! It’s the future, seriously!”

“Honestly, what it is with you blokes and your obsession technology!” Kathy muttered. “My da was exactly the same when we got a colour television! I suppose boys never grow up, the toys just get more expensive!”

“Smile, James!” Rory instructed, then took several identical shots of James, knowing that Glen had cleared the memory card the day before.

“Why don’t I get my photo done now?” James suggested. “It’ll save time later.”

“Good idea,” Kathy replied. The three walked over to the photographer’s booth where James was photographed several times holding a fake plastic scroll.

“I can’t believe those scrolls are fake!” Kathy said with a slight hint of indignation.

“I know! I feel a bit conned!” Rory responded in agreement.

“Well, I’d better go and take my seat,” James said. “I’ll meet you both outside after the ceremony.”

“See you later, love,” Kathy beamed. She headed into the large graduation hall with Rory beside her and they claimed two seats. “Do you think he’ll see us?” she asked Rory.

“Unlikely, it’s an enormous room!”

“Pity, I bought this mascara especially!”

“Surely you don’t need mascara with eyebrows like that!” 

“Honestly, what is it with my eyebrows? I’m just going to head to the toilet.”

Rory crossed his feet, looked through the glossy programme and smiled when he spotted the name he was looking for: James Zachary Maguire. He cast his mind back to the day James’s new birth certificate arrived on which he, Rory James Dolan, was officially named as James’s father.

“Excuse me,” a man’s voice came from nowhere, “are these two seats free?” Rory looked up to see a man in his fifties, around ten years older than him, pointing to two empty seats.

“Sure, take them,” Rory answered and the man sat down. 

“Waiting for the missus?” the man asked. His accent was bland, nondescript and not easily identifiable.

Well not exactly, my erm…” Rory paused as he pondered the right way to refer to Kathy. Ex-girlfriend was such a negative term; her previous mistakes notwithstanding, Kathy deserved better than that. “My son’s ma. It’s a bit complicated to explain.”

“What’s your son called?”

“James Maguire.”

“I thought so! My son Jason lived with him for three years so I’ve met him before. I remember him saying his parents were from Northern Ireland.”

Rory laughed. “Aye, I guess the accent gave it away! It’s nice to meet you. I’m Rory, Rory Dolan.”

“Kevin Gamble.” They shook hands. “James has told me all about you but it’s nice to finally meet.”

“Well I’m glad there’s one less thing to explain!” Rory and Kevin laughed. “I’ve met your Jason a few times. Nice young lad you’ve got.”

“Oh, same to you. I bet you’re very proud of James.”

“Aye, immeasurably. It’s nice when you get to celebrate your children’s achievements.”

“I agree. I can’t believe this will probably be my last graduation ceremony. My two older boys finished uni a while ago. Ede and Ravenscroft have certainly done well out of us!”

“This is the first one I’ve ever attended. My younger son is fifteen and my daughter is thirteen so I won't be going to any more for a while.”

“Lovely. Did you have a good journey?”

“Yes thank you. It’s nice and easy on the overnight ferry. No airport nonsense! Where have you come from?”

“Leamington Spa in Warwickshire. Not too far but the M6 can be a real pain in the arse at times!”

“Kevin, no one cares about the journey up!” 

Rory and Kevin turned around to see a middle-aged woman in a skirt suit standing next to Kathy. “It’s a good icebreaker, Celia!” Kevin responded then turned to Rory. “Rory, this is my wife, Celia. Celia, this is James’s dad, Rory.” Rory and Celia shook hands.

“How funny, I’ve just met James’s mum in the ladies’ toilet! I had to know how Kathy managed to keep her eyebrows in such good shape!” Celia said. “Kathy, this is my husband, Kevin.”

“Nice to meet you, Kevin,” Kathy said before taking her seat next to Rory.

The ceremony began with a series of addresses from academics and visiting speakers, all wearing ecclesiastical-looking gowns and bizarre pieces of headwear. One by one, the name of each graduating student was called out and Rory closely kept track of each graduand until the name he was waiting to hear was finally called. “James Zachary Maguire!” From their seats, Rory and Kathy watched attentively as James gingerly walked across the stage, taking care not to trip, and shook hands with the vice-chancellor as he collected his certificate. By this point, neither Rory nor Kathy had a single dry eye between them. Rory held out his hand and Kathy gratefully took it, squeezing it tightly. They both needed support at such an emotional time.

When the ceremony finally ended, the audience filed out of the room and into the square outside.

“We’ve got a first-class wee un, Rory!” Kathy said happily. “Well, we’ve had one for twenty-one years but now we’ve got a certificate to prove it!”

“Aye, I always asked him if he was studying hard whenever I rang him and it looks like my question has been answered!”

“I knew he’d work hard but I had to ask him because I wanted him to do well!”

“He will do well at whatever he does in life, Kathy. I’ve earmarked a spot on my wall for the photo! I had to stop Carol from hammering two nails in for Glen and Ciara’s photos as they’re still only fifteen and thirteen!”

“Well, it doesn’t hurt to plan!”

“Hi, Mum and Dad,” James said when he appeared looking happy as he carried his certificate.

“It’s the wee graduate, Kathy!” Rory beamed. “One wee tip: be careful of women named Mrs Robinson!”

“Oh, Rory, aren’t you just the comedian!” Kathy chuckled.

Rory took more photos and asked a passer-by to take some of them together. James introduced his parents to his course friends, to whom he’d told his extraordinary life story. In keeping with tradition, the new graduates tossed their mortar boards in the air and attempted to reclaim the same ones that they had collected earlier, with varying degrees of success. Finally, the celebrations disbanded and the graduates all headed off with their respective families.

“I’m glad to get those robes off!” James sighed with palpable relief.

“Let’s get something to eat,” Rory said.

The family headed to a small restaurant in the city centre which was busy with other families celebrating their children’s graduations as evidenced by the concentration of elegant dresses and well-cut suits. Kathy went to the toilets while Rory and James claimed a table.

“Been quite a day, hasn’t it?” Rory said.

“Yeah,” James sighed, looking down solemnly.

“Are you ok, James?” 

“Yeah...I had a dream the other night where I was a child and you and Mum were raising me together as a happy little family. Today has made me think a bit about how things might have turned out differently.” James paused. “Sorry, I had no right to spring that on you, that wasn’t fair. It just got to me a bit, that’s all.”

“It’s ok, son,” Rory said softly. “No one gets to tell you how to feel about anything, no one! You didn’t have what most children - including your friends and your half-siblings - get to experience so it’s only natural for you to feel that way. I understand exactly how you feel and Glen and Ciara feel for you too.”

“Really?” 

“Of course, they can be surprisingly mature for teenagers! James, if something is troubling you like that then you’re more than within your rights to talk to me. I don’t get to decide what my wee uns tell me, even though you’re an adult now. I know you feel a void and I do too and no amount of reasoning with myself about how difficult a position your mother was in at the time can take that away but we just have to both learn to live with it.”

James smiled at his father, who somehow always knew the right thing to say to make things seem better. “Thanks, Dad.”

“Don’t mention it, son. Anyway, we’re not done celebrating yet!” Rory unfastened the top button of his shirt and loosened his tie, while James followed suit and they continued to read the menu.

“Sorry about that, fellas,” Kathy said as she returned to the table and sat down. “Look at you two! You look like a pair of businessmen taking an excessively long lunch in company time!”

“We’ve got to celebrate properly, Kathy!” Rory responded.

James said nothing and smiled. He had both his parents with him and they both loved him. Now he thought about it, he didn’t really need anything else in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ede and Ravenscroft is a tailoring business which provides academic dress for graduations in England (and possibly elsewhere in the UK too - but I'm not sure). Graduating university in England is an expensive affair!


	39. A Day Out in a Big Tent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang decide to visit the Millennium Dome.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For younger readers, the Millennium Dome is now the site of the O2 Arena in London.
> 
> This chapter is based on my own visit there as a child and what I can remember of it!
> 
> Please read the end note for more information and detail.

“Ok, this is the stop we need,” Dale announced as the tube train approached North Greenwich station. James, Richard, Erin, Clare, Orla and Michelle all stood up and headed towards the exit door, alighted the train and then exited the station onto the street.

“That was so cracker,” Orla beamed; an hour ago, she had been dying of excitement at the idea of travelling on an underground train, “It’s just like being a mole!”

“Were you a mole in a previous life?” Richard asked Orla cheekily; he knew exactly how to respond to Orla’s odd comments.

“Aye, it was cracker,” Orla responded plaintively, seeming to long for a previous existence, free of the burdens that came with being a human.

“You’re a mole in this life too!” Erin grumbled.

“I hate moles!” Michelle snapped.

“What have you got against moles, Michelle?” Clare gasped. “They’re an integral part of our ecosystem and we need to treat them with respect!”

“Calm your tits, Clare!” Michelle retorted. “I wasn’t talking about that sort of mole! I meant these!” she added, pointing at several moles up and down her arm.

“Now now, ladies, there’s no need to make a mountain out of a molehill,” Richard cut in smoothly with a confidence that James found astonishing; he would never have gotten away with an interjection like that.

“Richard, that is worse than a dad joke!” James groaned.

“James! Don’t be so disrespectful towards your father!” Erin scolded playfully.

“Not you as well, Erin! My mum enjoys saying that!” James whined.

“I know, she was telling me about it last night!” Erin cooed, then kissed James on the cheek.

“Ok, here we are,” Dale declared, having plucked up some courage to take control of the situation in a manner that was untypical for him as a normally shy person. He took the tickets from his wallet and distributed them to the other six members of the group.

“What are those yellow pointy things?” Orla asked.

“No one knows,” James responded.

“They represent the months of the year and the hours on a clock face,” Clare explained.

“How did you know that?” Dale asked, confused as to why Clare would know that.

“I read about it extensively before it opened,” Clare responded enthusiastically. “I mean, it was so exciting to read about a monument to progress and optimism and looking ahead to a better future.”

“Wise up, Clare! It’s basically a massive tent!” Michelle huffed.

“It’s better than any of Jim’s tents, that’s for sure,” Orla opined.

“You definitely wouldn’t want to lose a tent as big and expensive as that,” Richard said, smirking at James.

“It was an accident!” James protested, though no one really cared about the disappearance of Jim’s second-best tent five years ago.

The group - which had begun as four Derry girls, gained a wee English fella, then two additional wee English fellas - headed into the dome.

“This looks...interesting,” Clare remarked as she looked around, taking in the sight of a person floating through the air, attached to what looked like an enormous balloon.

The first stop of the tour was an area called the “Body Zone”, which from the outside resembled an enormous sculpture resembling the upper human body. The gang entered the fake body by way of a tunnel designed to resemble a human mouth.

“Christ, I’m glad I’m not a dentist,” Michelle remarked with a hint of indignation.

“Aye, it’s cracker how we get some insight into the life of a coco pop,” Orla commented happily.

“And what a fascinating life that is,” Richard teased, humouring Orla as he had learnt how to do very skillfully. His comment elicited stares from James, Erin, Michelle and Clare while Dale looked down at the floor with a grin, but he didn’t care.

The tour continued to the core of the enormous replica of the human body, where a robotic heart - moving rhythmically in an attempt to replicate a heartbeat - was suspended from the ceiling.

“James! What the feck is that?” Erin shrieked melodramatically, grabbing her boyfriend’s arm suddenly.

“I think it’s supposed to be a human heart, Erin,” Clare explained calmly.

“We all have one, Erin! Don’t be such a drama queen!” Michelle huffed.

“And it’s beating, just like my heart beats for you,” James said sincerely, taking Erin’s hand and kissing it.

“James, this is not the time nor the place to be affectionate!” Erin hissed.

“Be fair to him, Erin, he’s not afraid to show affection in public,” Richard pointed out. Erin scowled and said nothing; it irritated her that she never had a good comeback to Richard’s witty remarks.

“But seriously, what sort of person would design an exhibit like this?” Erin pondered, as confused as anyone.

“An English person, probably,” Dale answered quickly. Michelle furtively clenched her left fist in annoyance that a mild-mannered English fella had stolen her line.

“Let’s move on,” James said.

The gang continued around the dome from one bizarre exhibit to another before ending the tour in an area called the “rest zone”. This consisted of a white room, illuminated by coloured lights while ambient music played in the background. The walls were slightly curved, enabling children to use them as a slide - to the annoyance of tetchy parents - and completely defeating the purpose of the zone.

“I wonder if this is what purgatory is like,” Orla wondered.

“Ask Sister Michael next time you’re back home,” James suggested.

“She thinks her current existence is a form of purgatory,” Clare responded.

“How do you know that, Clare?” Erin scoffed.

“I asked her about it once,” Clare answered.

“Really, Clare?” Michelle said sarkily. 

“Maybe we should make a move now,” Dale suggested.

“I think that’s a good idea,” Richard said in agreement.

The gang migrated to the gift shop for a bit of retail therapy. Orla purchased an enormous lollipop while Erin bought a circular tin of Typhoo tea as a gift for her parents. Finally, the four Derry girls and accompanying wee English fellas headed home in anticipation of what was to come the following morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a video I used to help write this chapter which I recommend watching if you can!
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EVl1jHrCAs4&t=310s
> 
> 2:36 - person floating attached to a balloon.  
> 2:47 - body sculpture.  
> 4:53 - entrance to the Body Zone.  
> 4:59 - the heart (I found this really creepy at the time!)  
> 22:20 - the rest zone. As you can see, the walls are carved into smooth bench-type structures (this was quite hard to describe). In this clip, everybody is sitting still but when I went, children (myself included) were sliding down the walls and it wasn't remotely relaxing!


End file.
